Quotes About Humor

Paul: You know what you sound like? A jealous girl friend. Suze: And how are things on Planet You Wish?

Oh my God. I thought I was going to have an aneurysm right there in line. Your hair smells really good? Your hair smells really good? Who did he think he was? James Bond? You don't tell someone their hair smells good. Not in a mall.

What was I thinking, anyway? It would never work out between the two of us. I mean, I'm a mediator. His dad's a vampire. His uncle's a killer. What if we got married? Think how our kids would turn out...

Friend Tim shakes hands with Perfect Specimen of Mankind. Will never wash right hand again.

Write this letter or we'll put you in a home, grandma.

Reader, I married him. Ha! I've always wanted to write that!

And that whole do-able/undo-able thing? Yeah. Need I point out that neither Ruth nor I have ever done anybody in our lives?

The way things are going, I wouldn't be surprised if pretty soon I start wearing ripped-up fishnet stockings and dyeing my hair black. Maybe I'll even start smoking and get my ears double-pierced or something. And then they'll make a TV movie about me and call it Royal Scandal. It will show me going up to Prince William and saying,'Who's the most popular young royal now, huh, punk?' and then headbutting him or something.

Inte konstigt att farfar fick en hjärtattack i sängen och dog. Antagligen vände han sig om en morgon och tog sig en ordentlig titt på sin fru.

There are nice, funny totally good-looking guysout there. You just have to know where to look…and apparently, where NOT to look. Which is in the ladies' shower of your dorm.

I hope you're not planning on kicking me," he said, not even bothering to look up from his book, "as hard as you did those doors." "I will," I said, "if the next words out of your mouth are Pierce, you just need to relax.

Your boyfriend dive into, like, three feet of water. He didn't come up, either.He is probably drowned or turned into a merman. Honestly, I don't know which would be worse. ..

Subject:My butt

Flinging dog drool on innocent passersby?

Cabrero, kayla said, narrowing her eyes at Alex. If you do that one more time, I will take this book from you and hit you with it till you're dead. Again.

When Louie is upset with us for, say, forgetting to feed him, he eats any socks he might find lying around.

Did Gran go to a gynecologist? That is totally weird. I never thought about my grandmother's vagina before. I don't want to be thinking about my grandmother's vagina. Not here, at her funeral. In a church. While i'm doing a reading from the Bible.

Then I watched his eyebrows go up. Way up.

But he's wrong, because my dad definitely has testosterone—at least one testicle full—

To: Mel Fuller From: Nadine Wilcock Subject: Go take a Midol…

Today Rommel had on a mink bolero jacket. I am not even joking. It was dyed lavender to match the one slung across Grandmère's shoulders.

I interrupted Grandmère to inform her that I will be fifteen in four months, and also that Juliet was fourteen when she married Romeo. To which Grandmère replied, "And that relationship turned out very nicely, didn't it!

Above his chest hung a set of barbells. I would not have liked to hazard a guess as to how much weight he was lifting, but allow me to assure you, with enough reps, I was quite sure he'd have no trouble heaving Debbie Mancuso out the window in the event of a fire. Which is all a girl really needs out of a boyfriend, if you ask me.

I swear to God someday I am going to tie that Scandinavian to my bed and do unspeakable things to him. I know it's been a while since you've had a date, but please keep in mind that Lars has been my bodyguard since I was 14 years old, so I think of him as an older brother. I'm pretty sure you do unspeakable things to MY older brother on a pretty regular basis.