Quotes About Humor

I swear to you, even if he was shaved bald he'd have more hair than wits.

I'm clear with all my bitches...I hump her till she bites me. Then it's adios bitches, time for BALL.

Why do you always come in to kiss me while I'm on the toilet? I asked. Makes us feel close to you, Chuck said, surprised I would ask. Peeing is one of the special things we share.

And Mom? You're a good girl. Thank you. That's very sweet of you, Chuck Though what I was really thinking was: This is too fucking weird.

There are some people who would rather be right than happy, as though making a point was more fun than having a good time These are the people who will risk their lives to get the last laugh even when it isn't funny

I saw a Puffin In the Bay of Baffin Sittin on Nuffin And it was Laffin.

Families are like fudge—mostly sweet with a few nuts!

If we were caught pointing at a map with a finger, instead of a blade of grass or something sharp, we had been threatened, by the unforgettable Sgt Taff, that he would 'Rip that finger off and beat you to death with the soggy end!' It's a threat that I enjoy passing on to my boys when we are reading a map together nowadays.)

Everyone always warms to people who can laugh at themselves. It's human nature - and the best jokes are always against ourselves. It shows character, humility and grace.

Presently Peter sneezed Kertyschoo!

your Father had an accident there; he was put in a pie by Mrs. McGregor.

To quote a noted Jewish humorist, Sholom Aleichem: "First comes health. You can always hang yourself later." As

I don't lose time playing verbal games, trying to remember what I forgot. "I don't remember your name," says one octogenarian to another. "Tell me what it is." The second one pauses: "How soon do you have to know?" he asks.

You scared the wits out of everyone, collapsing like that." "How should I have collapsed?" I joked.

The chicken is a little dry and/or you've ruined my life.

my father told me he had hurt his knee, though that didn't explain why he was icing his balls

But if a broker ever tries to sell you an individual mortgage bond or "CMO," tell him you are late for an appointment with your proctologist.

Thomas, I can pull down you're pants and point you downwind, but even with the Lord's help I can't pee for you.

Shit!" Evelgold added. "What?" Hook asked, alarmed. "I just stepped in some." "That's supposed to bring you luck," Hook said. "Then I'd better dance in the goddam stuff.

Senhor Uhtred! - Como sempre, Willibald reagiu à minha provocação. - Esse peixe - ele apontou o dedo trêmulo na direção dos ossos - foi um dos dois que Nosso Senhor usou para alimentar 5 mil pessoas! - O outro devia ser um peixe incrivelmente grande - respondi. - O que era? Uma baleia?

It was funny, Richard Sharpe thought, that there were no vultures in England.

You do like them thin, don't you? Pyrlig said, amused. Now I like them meaty as well-fed heifers! Give me a nice dark Briton with hips like a pair of ale barrels and I'm a happy priest. Poor Hild. Thin as a ray of sunlight, she is, but I pity a Dane who crosses her path today.

A vida é uma brincadeira dos deuses e não existe justiça. Você precisa aprender a rir ou então vai simplesmente chorar até morrer.

There are times, Leofric grumbled, when you are an earsling. An earsling was something that had dropped out of a creature's backside and was one of Leofric's favourite insults. We were friends.