Quotes About Humor

I started to do a study on how not to do stand-up comedy. Yeah, it's lonely work. You die, you die alone. It's you, the light, and the audience. If you win, you win big. If you lose, you lose big time.

We've got eight dogs, a cat, a turtle, kids... yeah we have a lot of dogs. It's a lot of fur, it's a lot of poop... and that's not even counting Robbie. He's the hairiest most feral animal of all.

Is there a movie I think I should have won the Oscar for? Yeah. All of them.

Dick Cheney said he was running again. He said his health was fine, 'I've got a doctor with me 24 hours a day.' Yeah, that's always the sign of a man in good health, isn't it?

I think I made a mistake once... yeah... it was only once.

Y'know what? This is what I go by: It doesn't matter how good-looking a guy is, it just depends on his personality. If a guy can make you laugh and make fun of you, then that's what would win me over. So, yeah.

Did I get jiggy with Will? I would have to say no! Did I have fun with Will? I would have to say yeah! But you know, I did not jig with the man, if you know what I'm saying!

I mean, yeah, I'm sure that Python and the other things have paved the way for a greater understanding of the British sense of humor, but I don't think it's all that different than the American sense of humor.

But as far as being popular, yeah, I think Dave Barry is really funny.

If someone is expressing everything I am feeling at the moment, it's probably Jon Stewart. I hear him and think, Yeah!

This is the great thing about Northern Ireland. I walk down the street and people stop me and say things like, 'I know you. You're that wee golfer, aren't you?' I say, 'Yeah, that's me.' They say, 'Keep it up, wee man.' It's very funny and that's why I want to stay here as long as possible.

I always felt different as a kid, and the Kinks were like, 'Yeah, we're the Kinks.' Celebrate your difference; don't be afraid of your sense of humor, or your personality, or who you are. It emboldened me.

Now, where does my comedy come from, like, as a human being? Yeah, when I was a kid I was dyslexic and had to go to special-ed every day and felt stupid about that and got very witty to defend myself.

Yeah, I just don't break. I don't. And there's only one person I know who's a better non-breaker than me, and that's Will Forte from 'SNL.' You can not make that guy break. I'll break eventually - Will Forte will never break.

If you knew my wife, you'd be like, 'Yeah, you're very married.' She runs the household. I refer to her as 'the greatest director I've ever worked with.'

Yeah, a lot of people ask me to take my shirt off, which is aggressive. I wish that I were just one of those guys who was just like, 'You know, look, when I was seven I had a six-pack, and it just never went away.'

I used to watch 'Coming to America' every day after school. I have full-on long-running inside jokes with friends and family about different scenes in that movie alone. Also, my brother and I loved 'The Golden Child,' so, yeah: I was a huge fan of Eddie Murphy growing up.

I like my messiness on stage, though I watch comics who come at a joke from every angle and I think, 'Yeah! That's how it's done!' But for me it's the audience. If I feel connected to them, I have so much fun, and if not, it stinks.

I like to tell kids that I started thinking about stories when I first started reading stuff like Dr. Seuss and 'Go, Dog. Go!,' thinking, 'Oh yeah, that's funny. I'd like to do that.' And then writing throughout school, but at the same time I was studying pre-med stuff, because my mom told me I should be a doctor.

I think the best comedy is tragicomic. Yeah, I suppose if you were to look at everything I've done, there is a bit of a black streak through all of it. It's not deliberate: it's what makes me laugh, and there's a fine tradition of it, especially in Ireland.

Last year I went fishing with Salvador Dali. He was using a dotted line. He caught every other fish.

I have the body of an eighteen year old. I keep it in the fridge.

I'm spending a year dead for tax reasons.

One year they asked me to be poster boy - for birth control.