Quotes About Humor

I've seen all the Judd Apatow movies, and I'd love to have a really funny little part in one of them some day.

I have a Sharpie. I love Sharpies. You know what they say on them? Not for letter writing. That sucks. Now I have to communicate with my dad using numbers.

I love hard punch lines, and I like anything that has a strong point of view.

People love to laugh together. Like when I'm at home and I'm watching shows, I don't laugh out loud, but if I'm in a crowd and everyone is into it...

Really, I just love doing comedy. Any form it takes is great, as long as I can keep doing it, you know? If I can do my show and 'The League' while also getting to do other bits, that's awesome.

I'de luv to kiss ya but I just washed my hair.

I like the country, too, she agreed. Look! Did you see that bird swoop across the yard? That bird was a bat, Aunt Clare said. She chuckled as both birds ducked their heads.

Let us be honest: most of us rather like our cats to have a streak of wickedness. I should not feel quite easy in the company of any cat that walked around the house with a saintly expression.

He would be atleast sixteen-old enough to have a driver's licence- and he would have crinkles around his eyes that showed he had a sense of humor and he would be tall, the kind of boy all the other girls would like to date

I'm not a pest," said Ramona indignantly, and to get even she stretched one of Susan's curls and whispered, "Boing!

IF YOU ARE EATING PEAS THINK OF ME BEFORE YOU SNEEZE Signed, Yard Ape PRESIDENT

That's my brother Germy," said Daisy. "He thinks he's a genius because he's in high school." "Jeremy," corrected the brother to Ramona and added, "Tinsel Teeth," to his sister.

I remember when Ramona named one of her dolls Chevrolet after the car." Everyone laughed.

No," said Ramona. "He's the kind of grown-up who teases children and thinks he's funny.

Grown-ups are supposed to be perfect. Both her parents laughed. Well, they are! Ramona insisted, annoyed by their laughter.

were poking a little fun at Ramona. "Yes, ma'am!" said her father, and saluted as if she were somebody important. This time Ramona had to laugh.

You have a little brother, she reminded him. I know, answered Yard Ape, but we just keep him for a pet.

I was heading to Nebraska. Now there's a sentence you don't want to say too often if you can possibly help it.

Geologists are never at a loss for paperweights.

Australians are very unfair in this way. They spend half of any conversation insisting that the country's dangers are vastly overrated and that there's nothing to worry about, and the other half telling you how six months ago their Uncle Bob was driving to Mudgee when a tiger snake slid out from under the dashboard and bit him on the groin, but that it's okay now because he's off the life support machine and they've discovered he can communicate with eye blinks.

If you can imagine a man having a vasectomy without anesthetic to the sound of frantic sitar-playing, you will have some idea of what popular Turkish music is like.

Christmas tree stands are the work of the devil and they want you dead.

Why is it, I wondered, that old people are always so self-centered and excitable? But I just smiled benignly and stood back, comforted by the thought that soon they would be dead.

You have three chromosomes, Bryson. X, Y, and Fuckhead. -- Katz