Quotes About Humor

I have my own gym. When you do jokes and they sell, you get a gym.

I told jokes badly.

I've never really told jokes. I'm not good at it.

I could never sit down and write jokes.

I can't crack jokes because I don't have any.

I'm not an artist. I tell inappropriate stories and jokes and I try to make people laugh.

I tell the most horrible jokes.

I'm really bad at writing jokes.

I don't want to be with someone boring because I'm always laughing. I like to play jokes on people and be sarcastic.

I'm not big on fat jokes. That's a little beneath me. I'm not a huge fan of making a joke - and as I say this, I'm sure I do it - completely at someone else's expense.

I never used to tell jokes on stage. Now I'm cutting up jokes all night long.

I'm not built for war. I'm built for entertainment. I'm built for jokes - either telling them or being the butt of them.

I'm not even really a joke-teller. I can do ad-lib and banter, but I don't do jokes.

All I do is have fun. When I'm not working, it's about making people laugh. I love making jokes about things. Even when someone's mad at me, I'll deflect anger with humor. My days are filled with laughter. If I'm not laughing, I'm not happy.

One of the marvelous things about Churchill is that whatever he was doing, whether fighting or arguing or despairing or bouncing about full of energy, jokes are never far away.

I realize how desperate it sounds for me, as a comedian, to ask you to laugh at my jokes.

I used to take someone with me for the chemotherapy so I could do jokes. You always try and find something absurd.

I always was an early-morning or late-night writer. Early morning was my favorite; late night was because you had a deadline. And at four in the morning, you make up some of your most absurd jokes.

I only have eight jokes, but I can do 'em over a two-hour period of time.

Most young comedians would be lying to say that they weren't huge Weird Al fans when they were kids. Weird Al is probably the first person I ever realized had a career that was just making jokes.

When I watch a comedy that's just hitting you over the head with jokes constantly, some really hit, but if they miss, you're like, 'Eh.'

I used to tell jokes about Internet-enabled lightbulbs. I can't tell jokes about it anymore - there already is an Internet-connected lightbulb.

Everyone can write jokes and makes things clever.

Looking back, I remember my family laughing a lot. We were never the kind of people that dwelled on hard times. My family laughs when things are tough. Growing up like that, I got used to making jokes about things that were difficult. So when I started doing stand-up, that's what I went towards.