Quotes About Humor

If it was raining soup, the Irish would go out with forks.

When I came back to Dublin I was courtmartialed in my absence and sentenced to death in my absence, so I said they could shoot me in my absence.

I saw a sign that said 'Drink Canada Dry'. So I did.

I only drink on two occasions—when I'm thirsty and when I'm not.

You can't be a casual observer of something humorous - you have to engage, you have to find it funny for the relationship between actor and audience to work.

I think great humor lies in playing the truth of a situation.

I always approach comedy roles pretending they aren't funny.

Not a shred of evidence exists in favor of the idea that life is serious.

My life is part humor, part roses, part thorns.

Lauren frowned at Matthias. "We're not dating." It figured that was the part of the conversation she'd focus on. Garrett couldn't imagine what Matthias would do with that information later. "Are you sure?" Matthias asked. Lauren's frown only deepened. "Wouldn't I know?" "Given Garrett's skill with women? Possibly not.

Where and how did you propose? She bit her lip. Um... Callen ran a hand over Grace's hair. In bed as nature intended. He shot an apologetic glance his mother's direction. Sorry. She shook her head. That's okay. I figured out you've slept together. For some reason that struck Mallory as hysterical. The pregnancy gave it away, right?

My job as a portrait photographer is to seduce, amuse and entertain.

What was that?' Wallander said. [Linda] 'Nothing.' 'That's funny. I could have sworn you were swearing.' 'I didn't say anything.' 'I have a strange daughter,' Wallander said to Lindman. 'She curses without even knowing it.'

I'm a man who doesn't laugh enough, he thought. Without my noticing, middle age has marooned me on a coast with too many dangerous submerged rocks.

Luulen että juuri se teki minusta aikuisen, se oivallus että raakuus on yhdistettävissä nauruun.

Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you're in the wrong house, that's what it means.

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to stop going to those places.

A drunk was in front of a judge. The judge says You've been brought here for drinking. The drunk says Okay, let's get started.

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.

I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no holidays.

My grandmother is over eighty and she still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle.

Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.

I've got all the money I'll ever need. If I die by 4:00.

My dad was the town drunk. Most of the time that's not so bad; but New York City?