Quotes About Humor

The guy didn't have resting bitch face so much as resting I'm-going-to-kill-someone-and-light-their-house-on-fire face.

Kind of like winning the fifty-meter ass-stroke in the Loserlympics

Her bra was cotton and white and, bless its little frickin´ heart, had a front clasp.

Hey, it's a party already," Trez called out as he and iAm arrived. "Oh, nice tux. Isn't that Tom Ford?" "Or was it Dick Chrysler," Rhage interjected. "Harry GM—wait, that sounds dirty….

Don't be an asshole, the guy snapped as he cracked a freshie. Oh, right, because two in this group would be overkill.

Butch clapped V on the thigh, then stood up, as if he knew exactly what V was thinking. Listen, I don't want you to feel bad. It's my animal magnetism. I'm irresistible. Smart-ass.

Gallows humor is part of having a doctor in the house. Deal with it.

Ah, now, don't get all mushy on me. We ain't dating. Butch

Besides, you don't look a thing like him. I mean… hello? You're this beefy Irish white boy. He's like… bus exhaust or some shit.

Trust me, true? Butch barked a laugh. Last time you said that i ended up with a vampire cocktail, remember?

Vishous, could you stop grinning like that? You're beginning to freak me out.

He palmed up the life Alert. Death Alert was more like it: Help, I haven't fallen and I'm standing up-can you come and rectify this problem? - Isaac

Well, aren't you Mother fucking Teresa

The guy stroked his goatee. "What do you call twenty guys watching the World Series?" "The New York Yankees," Butch replied. The vampire laughed in a loud burst, whipped the baseball cap off his head, and slapped it on his thigh.

I can´t help it. You´re just so sexy in those baggy-ass pants. I got to get me a pair, ´cause nothing says hotness like wearing what looks like two Heftys stitched together at your racket and balls.´

She pulled back the sheet. Good God, his sex was... It's gotten so...huge Butch barked out a laugh. You say the nicest things.

I mean, come on. He's kind of cute, in a Godzilla sort of way.

You going to try the rest of your gear on? he asked on an exhale. Or you want to whine about your pants a little more? Don't make me flip you off. Why would I deprive you of a favorite hobby? [Vishous to Butch]

From out of nowhere, she had an image of some poor human in a FedEx Office branch getting an eyeful and a half of the mostly naked fallen angel. Without warning, she started to laugh so hard, tears came to her eyes. The good kind of tears, that was. And as she gave herself up to the angel's ridiculousness, Lass just say there on the couch, staring up at Melrose Place, a sly, quiet smile on his beautiful, deranged face. What an angel he was, she thought to herself. A total angel.

Tell me this isn't permanent No, you have to give me my weapon back at the end. Har-har, hardy-har-har. I'm talking to Jim. No, it's not, the angel answered from out of Veck's mouth. I can get free as easily as I got in. You sure about that? Nope. Fabulous.

Yeah, we could strap a small car to Lassiter's back and make him run around by the pool—

Because, hey, nothing says, "I wanna date ya," like grounds for a restraining order.

Normally, Lassiter was the kind of guy who was so upbeat most folks couldn't decide whether to shoot him to put everyone out of their misery … or just grab some popcorn and a Coke and watch the show. Because even if he pissed you off, it was always hella funny

Rhage glanced over in the relative silence. "You are a genius." "Harold Ramis is." "I'm sorry?" "You ever see Stripes? My favorite movie of all time. I based this thing on Bill Murray's ride.