Quotes About Humor

God, I love you guys," Beth said. There was a lot of deep laughter, and then Hollywood said, "You want us to stab the floor for you again? Fists are for kings, but the queen gets the daggers." "I wouldn't want you to take chips out of this beautiful floor. Thank you, though." "Say the word and it's nothing but rubble." Beth laughed. "Be still, my heart." The

So yeah, conversationally speaking, we just faced off in a duel, where she had a gun and I had two paper clips and a rubber band. But it's fine. Although, hey, while we're on the subject, maybe you want to slice my nut sac off and put my two veg in your back pocket? 'Cuz I won't be needing them anymore after this.

Butch clapped him on the shoulder. "Listen to me. You have the fashion sense of a park bench and the interpersonal skills of a meat cleaver—" "Is this supposed to be helping?

And no, I don't need to go to the range. Well, unless Lassiter has a target on his ass—" "I'll volunteer the angel right here, right now." V parked it on the far side of the desk. "And can I be the one with the stapler, pinning the tail on his donkey? 'Cuz I'll tell you right now, I'ma hit that Stanley until the thing jams.

Okay, why couldn't he just be drinking right now? Still, bassinet jockeying one of these pooping machines had to be better than dodging bullets. Right? V glanced at the matched set of milk addicts. Fine, maybe the goo-goo, gaga/Glock assessment was more of a fifty-fifty.

There was a long silence. Then Rhage's hand landed on Butch's shoulder. "Besides, you don't look a thing like him. I mean…hello? You're this beefy Irish white boy. He's like…bus exhaust or some shit." Butch

My sex life is private, Butch. So are my…unconventional interests." "I hear ya. No one's biz but yours. One question, though." "What." "When the females tie you down, do they paint your toenails and shit? Or just do your makeup?" As V laughed in a loud crack, the cop said, "Wait…they tickle your pits with a feather, right?

But thanks, my man." "One other thing." "What." "I think we're dating now." As V barked out a laugh, the cop shrugged. "Come on . . . I got you naked. You wore a damn corset. And don't get me started about the sponge bath afterward." "Fucker." "To the end.

Murhder. My name is Murhder." She laughed. And then her mouth fell open before she could catch herself. "Wait, you're serious." When he nodded, she tried to compose herself. "Oh. Wow. Is—um, is that first or last?" "Last. My first name is Cold-Blooded." As she did a double take, he smiled shyly. "I'm joking. It's just Murhder.

You're such a pain in the ass." "Said the SIG to the Glock.

He tried out a smile. Widened it. His cheeks felt like they were going to crack. Yeah, okay, so he wasn't exactly Hallmark-card material.

Yeah, like Dieter from Sprockets." "Mike Myers is a god.

Had they kidnapped Wolfgang Puck as well, for kicks and giggles?

That's you," Wrath said. "You shall be called the Black Dagger warrior Dhestroyer, descended of Wrath son of Wrath." "But you'll always be Butch to us," Rhage cut in. "As well as hard-ass. Smart-ass. Royal pain in the ass. You know, whatever the situation calls for. I think as long as there's an ass in there, it'll be accurate." "How about bass tard?" Z suggested. "Nice. I feel that." They

Clearly his next tat needed to be more along the lines of a donkey. 'Cuz he was acting like an ass. -Rehv's thoughts

Good. Because I'm walking with a cane and I feel about as sexy as a toaster oven.

You don't have to say it," he murmured. "I already know." "Know what?" "That you don't want anyone to know about this soft side to you. So I'm just going to tell them that you came over, kicked me in the balls, and took my liver when I coughed it onto the floor. I had to follow you home or I wouldn't be able to cleanse my own blood.

One other thing." "What." "I think we're dating now." As V barked out a laugh, the cop shrugged. "Come on . . . I got you naked. You wore a damn corset. And don't get me started about the sponge bath afterward." "Fucker." "To the end." As

You gotta cut that shit out." Lassiter's voice harmonized with the sound of the toilet flushing. Which so made sense. "Christ, don't you ever knock?" "It's Lassiter. L-A-S-S-I-T-E-R. How is it possible you're still getting me confused with someone else? Do I need a nametag?" "Yes, and let's put it over your mouth." -Lassiter & Tohr

Dearest Virgin—um, Oversexed Lassiter

So what do you say. And this is not about sex." "Good. Because I'm walking with a cane and I feel about as sexy as a toaster oven." "Okay, quick side note on that. Toaster ovens are hot. I mean, that's their purpose. That's how you warm up pizza and how Hot Pockets get their name. Without toaster ovens, they'd be Room Temperature Pockets, and who needs that." Novo started laughing. "You're a freak.

Spending time with you is like watching paint dry." Lassiter's voice echoed up to the stalactites hanging from the Tomb's high ceiling. "Except without the home improvement—which is a tragedy, given how this place looks. Do you guys always go for the gloom and doom? You never hear of Pottery Barn?" -Lassiter to Tohr

It's because you're looking in the wrong place," Lassiter said. "You can go now." "Every time you say that, it brings a tear to my eye." "Funny, mine too." -Lassiter & Tohr

One other thing." "What." "I think we're dating now." As V barked out a laugh, the cop shrugged. "Come on . . . I got you naked. You wore a damn corset. And don't get me started about the sponge bath afterward." "Fucker." "To the end.