Quotes About Humor

I just want you to know," Alec said as he held his wrist out, "that I realize that to you vampires this feeding business sometimes equals sexy times." Simon's eyes widened. "My sister may have told me more than I wanted to know," Alec admitted. "Anyway, my point is that I am not attracted to you in the slightest.

Well, at least you know it works this time," she said, getting on behind him. "If we crash into the parking lot of a Key Food, I'll kill you, you know that?" "Don't be ridiculous," said Jace. "There are no parking lots on the Upper East Side. Why drive when you can get your groceries delivered?

Why didn't you wake me up?' 'I thought you could use the rest. Besides, you were sleeping like the dead. You even drooled,' he added. 'On my shirt.' Clary's hand flew to her mouth. 'Sorry.' 'Its not often you get to see someone drool,' Jace observed. 'Especially with such total abandon. Mouth wide open and everything.

Jace said that the cast of Gilligan's Island could do something anatomically unlikely with themselves.

Well, you can go ahead and hang your head out the car window if you feel like it." Luke laughed. "I'm a werewolf, not a golden retriever." -Clary & Luke, pg.415-

Because', she said, 'your problems are not real problems. You're dating two beautiful girls at once. Think about it. That's like...having rock-star problems.' 'Having rock-star problems may be the closest I ever get to being an actual rock star.

You know when most girls say they want a big rock, they dont mean, you know, literally a big rock ." -Clary to Jace, pg.313-

Why not? Do you like him?" Magnus's eyes gleamed. "He seems to like you. I saw him going for your hand out there like a squirrel diving for a peanut.

Jules: For one, you have a terrifying older brother. Livvy: I do not have a terryfying older brother. Jules: That's true. You have two.

Unfortunately, we're all out of bitter revenge at the moment, so it's either tea or nothing.

Henry," said Charlotte, who appeared to have recovered from her shock, "if you set yourself on fire deliberately, I will institute divorce proceedings. Now sit down and eat your supper. And say hello to our guest.

My darling, you are indisposed! You must remain abed for the next eight months. Little Buford - " "I am NOT naming our child Buford...

She was afraid you'd freak out? Start seeing demons in the White House?" ... "There are demons in the White House?" "I was kidding," said Jace. "I think." -Jace & Clary

Might I make free with your lettuce, my lady?

Are you going to wolf out and eat me now?" "Certainly not, you'd be stringy and hard to digest." "But kosher." "I'll be sure to point any Jewish lycanthropes in your direction.

If you're texting Magnus to say 'I think ur kewl,' I'm going to kill you.

You have been known to call upon Brother Zachariah for a broken toe. "It was turning green," said Will

Will-," Tessa began but it was too late, Church made a yowling noise at being woken, and lashed out with his claws. Will began to swear. Tessa left, unable to hide the slightest of smiles as she went.

You might want to put some clothes on' suggested Jace 'I'm all for the bra and panties look, but you don't want the Silent Brothers to die of excitement

Alec slid his hand from Jace's arm to his shoulder. Magnus cleared his throat. Alec dropped his hand. Simon grinned into his undrunk coffee.

Once he asked me what I thought had turned me gay." "I hope you told him you were bitten by a gay spider," said Simon.

Never trust a duck.

He has many things I haven't got," said Jace. "Like nearsightedness, bad posture, and an appalling lack of coordination." -Jace about Simon, pg. 331-

How are you feeling?" "Like someone massaged me with a cheese grater." -Clary & Simon, pg.297-