Quotes About Humor

Another tormentor inquired if it was true that I had installed two ping-pong tables in my basement. I asked, was it a crime? No, he said, but why two? Is that a crime? I countered, and they all laughed.

Death often is the point of life's joke.

A paper of mine entitled The Proustian theme in a letter from Keats to Benjamin Bailey was chuckled over by the six or seven scholars who read it.

Take me down to the bar! We'll drink breakfast together!

I always keep some whiskey handy in case I see a snake...which I also keep handy.

It is funnier to bend things than to break them.

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.

I don't drink water. Fish fuck in it.

Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.

Fell in love with a beautiful blonde once. Drove me to drink. And I never had the decency to thank her.

Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.

Marry an outdoors woman. That way, if you have to throw her out into the yard for the night, she can still survive.

Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget for a butler.

I once spent a year in Philadelphia, I think it was on a Sunday.

But the way you talk, fun is first and foremost. You imply that there is no fun to be had around white folks." "I never had none," said Simple.

Humor is laughing at what you haven't got when you ought to have it.

Forgive me, Father, but I'm not Catholic.

What are you doing eating a salad? If you turned sideways in the wind, you'd whistle.

your asses at Scrabble. Who's up for an ass-kicking?" Lindsay

It's the other part I'm not so sure about. You got any advice for me on that, Lucan?" "Sure." The vampire grunted, his smile filled with dark amusement. "Dust off your knees, brother, because you may damn well end up walking on them before the night is through.

Everything good in there, T? Niko quipped. You need backup or anything? Bag of marshmallows to roast over that little campfire you just started?

Damn, amigo. Just how much Oprah have you been watching since I've been gone?

Aqui o Niko seguiu o Renegado durante uns quarenta quilometros...a pé - acrescentou Brock,rolando os olhos castanho-escuros - Eu tinha o Rover atestado e à espera na esquina,mas aqui o atleta decidiu ir a pé." pag.71

Men love it. They have a sense of humor, whereas a lot of women are threatened or just don't get it.