Quotes About Humor

I don't know the statistics, but I wouldn't be surprised to find out that a disproportionate number of comics come from broken homes.

Up there with my awards, I have a great big statue of Groucho Marx, just to put everything in perspective.

You have to accept the fact that sometimes you are the pigeon, and sometimes you are the statue.

Status is always ripe for satire, status is always good for comedy.

I think a comedian has to be low status on some level; that gives you the right to do all sorts of jokes about all sorts of different kinds of people.

I only want to use my status as a comic actor to bring about a difference to society.

Comedy is to force us to observe ourselves in ways that are humorous and yet, at the end of the day, that cause us enough discomfort with the status quo to make a change.

I tend to find comedy in dark places. I also tend to find comedy in taking on the status quo - which has always been something I find important.

There is no bad time to laugh. I always joke, even five minutes before a game. It's not bad to stay a little immature.

I like to be funny. I can't stay all the time focused, disciplined, controlled. Behaviour like that is impossible. If the players are too nervous before a game, I have to relax them, calm them.

The only way to stay sharp is to do live shows. There is no part-time comedy.

More eccentric characters can push pretty far, but if you stay on the side of reality, it's always funnier.

We were so bad last year, the cheerleaders stayed home and phoned in the cheers.

What made me a comedian was staying on the stage and starting to talk.

I don't watch a whole lot of stand up. Mainly I prefer to read writers; they make me laugh the most. Something gets you when you're alone and someone's voice is coming through their work. There's a different quality to it that stays with you a bit more.

Stand-up is one of the art forms where you don't have to look nice, and I hope it stays that way.

I didn't decide I was crazy until 1952. That's when I began making a steady salary and could afford to be crazy.

I don't know if I'd call it a favorite, but there was an entree in the rotation at my grade school cafeteria called 'Salisbury Steak' that was some kind of freestanding spongiform potage covered in a sauce that would probably have to be spelled 'grayvee' for legal reasons.

I was in a steak house once, and someone proposed. I was so embarrassed. The woman started crying, and I thought, 'She was just proposed to in a steak house - I'd be crying, too.'

I'm very protective of my material. And you have to be, because it's very easy for people just to steal jokes.

Like with Berle, he was always trying to steal the scene, get a little extra.

It's sort of an action flick. You can't be that funny trying to steal diamonds.

I don't know if you can ever steal a scene from Louis C.K. or Melissa McCarthy. I think that's kind of impossible.

Never steal jokes.