Quotes About Humor

Laugh and the world laughs with you (unless you're at a funeral), cry and you cry alone.

Like they say,] small world, but I wouldn't want to paint it.

Your life has been lived a hundred times. A thousand times. It's not all that great, really. Don't take it so seriously. Don't handle it so delicately.

My Cuddle Time Bible Story Book Sleeping with Jesus Baby Bibles: Tall Tales for Tiny tots Everybody Poops (Except God)

1. The Amazing Race 2. I Thought This Show Was Gonna Be About Aryans 3. Oh. (Joe O'Neill, from Opium)

Carol turned around quickly as if stifling an urge to lunge at Max. He turned back to Max, straining to appear genial. Okay, he said, but will you come over here and put your head in my mouth again? Max continued to back up, No, Carol. I don't want to right now.

Unicycle?! came the quick reply. I'm diabetic!

It's big, but isn't it beautiful?" Kathy asked. "Yes, like you!" he joked. "Watch it," she said. "I can lose this weight, but you're never growing that hair back.

And everything that seemed possible at twenty-four, twenty-five, is now just such a joke, such a ridiculous fiction, every birthday an atrocity

Our penises flop up and down, and then as we pick up speed, slap left to right, back and forth -- who would have thought left to right? The pain! People should not do this. Penises were not built for running.

Laugh at both the state of the world and at ourselves. In doing so, it allows us to acknowledge our flaws while also transcending them.

Kiss my wookie.

He laughed, but he didn't smile.

Maybe I shot the sheriff and the deputy.

And he has guns and dogs that would make the Hound of Baskervilles seem like a bleeding Pekinese.

Luther glanced at the framed prints on the nightstand and wryly observed the twenty-something "little woman" next to the seventy-something husband. There were many types of lotteries in the world and not all of them state-run. Several

He cracked a grin. "I'm only five miles from the stoplight.

Damn it, why couldn't I have a photographic memory! Thank God you don't, Caleb exclaimed in a disgusted tone. What makes you say that? Reuben demanded hotly. Because then she'd be calling you Ruby, and I'd have to be sick to my stomach.

There are things I've given up on Like recording funny answering machine messages. It's part of growing older And the human race as a group has matured along the same lines. It seems our comedy dates the quickest. If you laugh out loud at Shakespeare's jokes I hope you won't be insulted if I say you're trying too hard. Even sketches from the original Saturday Night Live seem slow-witted and obvious now.

I'm always amazed that people take what I say seriously. I don't even take what I am seriously. (2012)

Or if you wish to put more of a barb in your comments, you can always say, "Yes, Mom, I have in fact decided to get out of bed in spite of the fact that you've been telling me to!

You'd probably start laughing because you'd realize that your fears had been the result of a gigantic cosmic joke that had persisted throughout all of your previous reincarnations.

I told Marilyn that God told me, "David, if you believe in me, I'm going to be deeply disappointed." I replied, "Don't worry, big guy, I've got your back!

Learn to find humor in the unending emotional drama the feminine seems to enjoy so much.