Quotes About Humor

What are you going to call the place?" "I haven't decided yet. Carrington wants to call it Clippety-Do-Da or Hairway to Heaven . . . but I told her we have to be a little bit classier." "Julius Scissors," I suggested. "Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow," Jack joined in. Liberty covered her ears. "I'll go out of business in the first week.

It's just . . . I'd like you to find some nice guy with no weird fuckin' baggage." I had to laugh. My irritation vanished, and I reached over to pat his hand. "If you ever meet one," I said, "let me know.

The way humor's usually used in horror, it's as a pressure-release valve; without it, the drama would escalate out of all control almost immediately.

I don't want to be a sexy vampire.

People say I look like a vampire. I don't know whether to take that as a compliment or not.

Rahm Emanuel is, we are almost certain, a vampire.

I like Taika Waititi a lot. I thought 'Boy' was a really wonderful film, had great resonance. Very sad but also very funny. I thought 'What We Do in the Shadows,' the vampire film, was fantastic.

Vampires, they're like the gift that won't stop giving. It's a good fruitful place to find comedy because they take themselves so seriously.

Are vampires kinky? I didn't know.

It was this weird confrontation of these two delicious flavors that got me consciously or subconsciously combining Lincoln and vampires as an observational in-joke with myself.

Funny enough, I don't like vampires.

And then Dick called and said, I'm going to do a special called Dick Van Dyke and the other woman, that would be you, because every time I try to check into a hotel with my wife, they look at me as though I'm cheating on Laura.

I probably remember more about 'The Dick Van Dyke Show' than Dick Van Dyke does.

Performing for Dick Van Dyke once was fun.

Well, everybody used to joke that I saved the first dollar that I ever made in Van Halen. I probably did somewhere.

I love to bake, so I made vanilla bean and blueberry muffins for sick hospital children. Just kidding! All of that is true except the sick children part.

I love musical comedy; I love comedy in general, and I have varied taste in terms of books, film, theatre, and culture.

I'm about 75 pages into a book on poetry. I don't know if anybody wants to read it. It's on any broad variety of subjects. I walk down the street and think of a topic and jot it down and say, 'Okay, that's another one.' They go from the humorous to the serious to every topic imaginable.

Generally speaking, life is so rich and full of variety; you have to remember all the time that there is a comical side to everything.

We all have, in my family, what we call the 'Vorderman bottom' - a sticky out, bigger-than-normal, signature, of the rear variety. It's been a family joke all our lives - even my lovely brother has one. I know the lines to all the good singalong big bum songs.

I own a fart CD. It has, I believe, over 100 fart sounds. A lovely variety, from the up-close and personal to the more experimental and dissonant. Some people prefer to listen to Bach when they go to sleep... not me.

There's a variety and depth to the song topics I get to write about in children's music and books: being able to write about things I wouldn't normally write about, like a disappointing pancake, or monsters or opposite day is really different than writing about heartbreak and relationships.

Well, I loved variety in television, I loved sketch comedy. At 'Saturday Night Live,' I stayed almost seven years.

I'll come out and say it because no one else will: French gross-out humor is the best. Particularly the illustrated variety.