Quotes About Humor

I'm in, Cat. I'd never leave you. Especially when you've got death breathing down your neck." "Very funny," I retorted, since Bones was inches from my throat

The real question is how do you stay funny in your 70s and 80s? And that's a real accomplishment, you know, the longevity.

Probably because I'm bald. Don't the bald people always play doctors and principals? Yeah, isn't that funny? And lawyers. A lot of lawyers and judges.

By the way, I'm funniest when I'm not being funny. I'm better to laugh at than with, pretty much.

From my dad ... I think we have a similar sense of humor. I don't know if that's a good or bad thing, but I think he's funny!

I read a lot of scripts that I just don't find very funny.

Like backstage, I just peed like every 3 seconds. I think yur staff thinks I have diarrhea.

On the key to a successful Twitter account: Write the things that you think are funny and that's what's gonna click with people.

Not often is there as much of a vulnerable side as there is a funny side.

To be sitting on the bench behind somebody who only started to play when he was 30 is not funny.

It's just thinking of funny things that will amuse us and entertain us and we'll come and do it.

I can't stand girls who laugh at everything I say like I'm the funniest guy in the world. I like girls who tell it like it is, no kissing up to me because I'm on TV.

Billy Almon has all of his in-laws and outlaws here this afternoon.

Eric Show will be 0 for 10 if that pop fly ever comes down.

Renko has just about had it. Pretty soon somebody will come out of the dugout with a fork and get him.

I think of myself as a funny guy but nobody thinks I'm funnier than my daughters.

I didn't know every day I would be discussing the tone of my voice with my wife. I thought it was a marriage. Apparently, it's a musical.

I don't think my judgment is that good. I don't know what is funny.

When I read a script, I have to see the funny, and if I can see it's funny, it helps me to be able to transmit that.

It's strange how interesting your dreams are, but when someone tries to tell you their dream you're just like "WHATEVER! Why don't you send me an e-mail so I can delete it?"

Cancer is always funny.

I just want to be known as funny.

The world is meaningless and therefore it's funny.

I thought I was funny as a kid.