Quotes About Humor

I wrote a few children's books... not on purpose.

I was once arrested for resisting arrest.

The sky is falling. No, I'm tipping over backwards.

What I like about the jokes, to me it's a lot of logic, no matter how crazy they are. It has to make absolute sense, or it won't be funny.

If you melt dry ice in a pool and go swimming, will you get wet?

I eat swiss cheese. But I only nibble on it. I make the holes bigger.

I wrote a song, but I can't read music so I don't know what it is. Every once in a while I'll be listening to the radio and I say, "I think I might have written that."

I went to a garage sale. 'How much for the garage' 'It's not for sale.'

I saw a want ad. "light housekeeping." They said "Here, change this bulb." I said "I'll need some friends."

I took a baby shower.

I was skydiving horizontally.

I eat Swiss cheese from the inside out.

I parked in the tow-away zone, and when I got back, the entire neighborhood was gone.

The sky already fell. Now what?

I have a fax machine with "fax waiting".

I plugged my phone in where the blender used to be. I called someone. They went "Aaaaahhhh..."

That's very funny," says Peeta. Suddenly he lashes out at the glass in Haymitch's hand. It shatters on the floor, sending the bloodred liquid running toward the back of the train. "Only not to us.

I think people will read about anything if it's good or interesting or funny enough.

Dying men think of funny things-and that's what we all are here, aren't we? Dying men.

I was never pretty, never really popular. I was lanky and funny looking.

Everybody in the South loves the one closeted homosexual who's married. It's just too funny to not have in a movie about the South. It's an epidemic. You gotta represent!

I find comedy to be really scary, because it can go so wrong so easily, and the margin for error is so huge - and I guess that's what makes it funny, that tension.

You realize the bad guy isn't wearing a black cape or easy to spot; he's funny, makes you laugh, and has perfect hair.

But I've never looked at myself as being particularly funny.