Quotes About Humor

only a fool asks Grandpa Gordon anything: He just might answer.

Some people are like Slinkies. They aren't really good for anything, but they still bring a smile to my face when I push them down a flight of stairs.

That's a pretty lame superhero name," I told him. "Scooby-Doo is already taken," he said with dignity. "Anything else sounds lame in comparison.

Murphy is a writer's best friend, but you have to keep an eye on him, or he'll steal the silver.

I see you've decided to take my advice after all, Richard." Lady Wendall's amused voice said from somewhere above and behind him. "Marrying your ward is *exactly* the sort of usual scandal I had in mind: I wonder it didn't occur to me before.

She who laughs last may not invariably laugh best, but she does laugh.

So, in a fit of pique, I came up with the silliest thing I could think of, and handed the book in under the title "Bowling for Dragons

That was uncomfortable.Am I dead? No such luck

You don't understand," Mairelon said dully. "Kim doesn't want to marry a toff." Was that what was bothering him? "Well, of all the bacon-brained, sapskulled, squirish, buffle-headed nod cocks!" Kim said with as much indignation as she could muster. "I was talking about the marquis, not about you!" Mairelon's eyes kindled. "Then you would?" "You've whiddled it," Kim informed him.

Thank you very much," I said. "But I really ought to tell you: I'm not a lord." The dwarf smiled tolerantly. "Of course not, my lord. Is there anything else we can do for you?

To ... to ... What the heck to call a duke who 'comes a monk?" "Brother?" Colin ventured. Will shook his head. "A bit too familiar. How 'bout BrotherYourGrace?" "Got it," Colin exclaimed. "Your Celibacy. Get it? Your Celibacy.

Robert Walker as Bruno was excellent. He had elegance and humor, and the proper fondness for his mother.

It's WA today, Minna," called Orson from across the room, Orson's name for Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart. Orson played second violin with a sloppy serenity, rolling his eyes and sticking out his tongue, his bowing long and sweeping and beautiful even when out of tune. "If you must make a mistake," he had quoted, "make it a big one." Was it Heifetz who had said it? Perlman? Zukerman maybe?

I had to come," said Dr. Sam. "To have a look at the aunts." Grandfather laughed. "Well, this is Harriet, and Mattie, and Lou," said Caleb, touching each one on the shoulder. "How do you do? Didn't you have sheep by those names?" Dr. Sam asked Mama. Mama smiled. "Yes, I saw Mattie the sheep just yesterday," said Aunt Lou. "She's a bit fat.

You know," said Mama, "I'm going to go inside and rest. I feel tired." "I'll come in, too," I said. "I'll be in the barn," said Grandfather. "I'll come in later for a piece of cake." "Cakes don't last forever," said Mama. "Not with Grandfather around," I said.

But that's typical of me. "This is going to end in tears," I tell myself every time I balance a cup of coffee on the upholstered arm of the chair I'm sitting on. And then, lo and behold, the cup topples and even before it lands, I tell myself, "Told me so!" Not to spell out, or spill out, one of the metaphors of my life, but I always do the stupid thing and then I do it again. I never learn.

There better not be a God because I'll be in big trouble.

The way you turn a sad story around, you should be a comedian! You're the funniest person I know.

Trying to fuck you is like trying to French kiss a very small and lively gerbil. With braces.

There's something darn funny about an old librarian with a potty mouth.

I'll bet I'm the only eighty-five-year-old cracker left with all his own teeth.

I always start writing with a clean piece of paper and a dirty mind.

she thought that 9Am was in the middle of the night

Morning, I soon discovered, was one o'clock for Auntie Mame. Early Morning was eleven, and the Middle of the Night was nine.