Quotes About Humor

Ptah? son of ptooey? What is he god of spitting? i asked

WE MEET THE SHEEP OF DOOM

Hey, if you poop on my blankets... Please. War gods do not poop on blankets..Well except for that one time..

Otis! Will you PLEASE stop killing me!

Alex promised to keep watch. At least I think that's what she said. She could have announced I'll invite Loki into camp and kill you all in your sleep! HAHAHAHA! and I still would've passed out.

I asked my new friend, "Were you born here?" He thought about it, paused, and then said, "No, 'twas 'bout five miles down the road." Later, I asked him, "Have you lived here all your life?" He winked and said, "Not yet.

trying to restore some kind of natural balance of humors in the world.

She was dressed in a rainbow-striped jumper that looked as if it had been crocheted for a gorilla by a gorilla.

See you later, pet. Don't do anything I wouldn't!," which gave Freda a pretty broad canvas to work on.

There was something to be said for dying before you ended up in incontinence pads, watching an endless loop of reruns of Friends.

Tobias was more camp than a Scout jamboree.

They were turning into Wallace and Gromit, he could feel it. Soon he'd be calling the dog lad and sharing cheese and crackers with it. There were worse things, he supposed.

I was still alive. Ha! Take that kidnappers. Still alive. Maybe it was my butt that was feeding me. I always thought it was kind of round. I bet my body was eating up all the fat stores from my butt now. Yeah. See, having a big ass is a good thing. Good, good, good. They should put that in magazines. Why diet? Why stay thin? If you ever get kidnapped and left for dead, your fat ass could save your life!

Observation #8: Boys are icky. Do not even get me started on the state of the bathroom. I'm thinking of calling in a haz-mat team. Seriously.

Leanne, would you kindly remove your nose from my ass? It's starting to chafe. - Noelle

Okay, no reason to have a heart attack. He's just a guy.... the yummiest guy in Yum City.

Unfortunately, I had a feeling I would never get to my bed as the vacuuming would strike me dead of an aneurysm. Death by Dyson. - Reed

My mother was a cook of the plain, simple, homey variety, which was perfect for our undeveloped palates. She wasn't a puritan or a health nut, but she greatly cared what we ate and took pains to serve us good meals every night. Sometimes, when she dished up one of her typical home-cooked dinners, and we told her how good it was and asked for seconds, she would say half joking, "Aw, it's nothing but a blue plate special!

It's hard not to immediately fall in love witha dog who has a good sense of humor.

Rats have a sense of humor. Rats, in fact think the world is very funny. And they are right, dear reader. They are right.

He smiled at me. He did that thing again, where he pulled back his lips and showed me his teeth. He smiled so big it made him sneeze. It was like he was saying, I know i'm a mess. Isn't it funny?

It's hard not to immediately fall in love with a dog who has a good sense of humor.

YOU'RE GOING TO VACUUM UP THAT SQUIRREL!

There is just no predicting what kind of sentences you might say, thought Flora. For instance, who would ever think you would shout, "You're going to vacuum up that squirrel!"?