Quotes About Humor

I suppose you never wanted to be a woman," she said, considering this phenomenon with apparent interest. Axel laughed. "The mere question makes you laugh," she said, looking up quickly. "I never heard of a man who did want to. But lots of women would give anything to be men." "And you are one of them?" "Yes." He laughed again.

You see, I tell myself, here is the reason to stay clean: because life is so ridiculous, and if you're sober, it's funny; if you're high, it's just depressing. Or maybe it's the opposite. But I hope not.

Really, all you need to become a good knitter are wool, needles, hands, and slightly below-average intelligence. Of course superior intelligence, such as yours and mine, is an advantage.

On Christmas morning, Rebecca lost her moral virginity, her sense of humor - and her two best friends. But, other than that, it was a hell of a holiday.

Mistress," the minstrel frowned, "if you were any sharper, we could sell you at the fair for scissors.

There is no egg in egg plant, neither apple nor pine in pineapple. A guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth? One goose, two geese. So one moose, two meese? If teachers taught, why haven't preachers praught? We have noses that run and feet that smell. How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?

A popular Internet essay notes: "There is no egg in egg plant, neither apple nor pine in pineapple. A guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth? One goose, two geese. So one moose, two meese? If teachers taught, why haven't preachers praught? We have noses that run and feet that smell. How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?

Read it out loud, dear," Grace ordered, as Angela opened the card tied to the yellow-ribboned box. To the bride-to-be in the kitchen stuck, An asparagus cooker and lots of luck. from Cookie Barfspringer "Thank you," Angela said, wondering which one was the Barfspringer. The next gift was an egg poacher. The box in pink ribbons contained another asparagus cooker. "I sure hope Doctor Deere likes asparagus," someone remarked.

These are bagpipes. I understand the inventor of the bagpipes was inspired when he saw a man carrying an indignant, asthmatic pig under his arm. Unfortunately, the man-made sound never equaled the purity of the sound achieved by the pig.

Puns are the highest form of literature.

The length of a film should be directly related to the endurance of the human bladder.

The work of art is a stuffed crocodile.

The total absence of humor from the Bible is one of the most singular things in all literature.

Laughter is the orgasm of the face".

de los placeres de un solitario, el más grande es hacer el ridículo sin que nadie lo vea.

Nothing comic isn't serious.

Sometimes, he says, we don't know why people do what they do. But we can only do our best, the best we can do, in response, and try to be as good-humoured as possible while we do it.

I only joke about really serious things

A?a c? s-a dus direct afar? ?i a spart o fereastr? drept cadou de ziua ei. Halal cadou, spune Midge. De ziua mea vreau un Mini Cooper.

H has moved to a town in Denmark that sounds like someone Scottish saying the word whorehouse.

It's funny to be sitting on such an uncommunal communal chair.

The man creases up. It seems he was joking; his shoulders go up and down but no sound comes out of him. It's like laughter, but also like a parody of laughter, and simultaneously a bit like he's having an asthma attack. Maybe you're not allowed to laugh out loud behind the counter of the main Post Office.

I have never made fun of religion. Religion is something I don't even want to mess with, because I am really afraid of the clouds opening up and my being struck by lightning.

It is so comic to hear oneself called old, even at ninety I suppose!