Quotes About Humor

What's up?" I asked. "You tell me," he said. "You were the one about ready to start making out with Adrian." "It was an experiment," I said. "It was part of my therapy." "What the hell kind of therapy are you in?

Cool'," said Adrian. "'Wind.' I see what you did there, Sage. Pretty clever.

I've said over and over, I'd do anything for you. I just keep hoping it'll be something like, 'Adrian, let's go hot tubbing' or 'Adrian, take me out for fondue.'" "Well, sometimes we have to—did you say fondue? Why in the world would I ever say that?" He shrugged. "I like fondue.

It was another horrible yet almost laughable moment. Cupcakes and birthday car sex had been my undoing.

Am I still married to a cat?

You know what we need?" I was sitting between Eddie and Lissa, on our flight from Seattle to Fairbanks. As the shortest-marginally-and the mastermind, I'd gotten stuck with the middle seat. "A new plan?" asked Lissa. "A miracle?" asked Eddie. I paused and glared at them both before responding. Since when had they become the comedians here?

We cooked our first meal today. I didn't know it was possible to burn spaghetti.

That's not what I meant! What happened?" He shrugged. "I told the truth." "Adrian!" "I'm serious. She asked me what my greatest strength was. I said getting along with people." "That not bad," I admitted. "Then she asked me what my greatest weakness was. And I said, 'Where should I start.'" "Adrian!

Two wrongs don't make a right. No, but three will get you back on the freeway!

I think the reason I choose the comic approach so often is because it's harder, therefore affording me the opportunity to show off.

All this overt heterosexuality amused me. If only they knew.

My tombstone is going to say: 'Born: Yes. Died: Yes.

You gay?" "Oh, I wouldn't say I was gay. I'd just say I was enchanted." "Me too.

You can't pee in front of little Lord Jesus, go back to the hills.

You know, it's hell to work with a cat. They really are smarter than we are. Have you ever gotten anyone to feed you, pay your bills, give you the best chair in the house, tell you how beautiful you are, and groom you daily? Me, neither. Yours

Thank the Lord, Tucker's a corgi," Pewter, upset herself, blurted out. "Smart as a cat.

I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and say to myself well, that's not going to happen

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.

My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpets or ruin our lives.

When I met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always

Some people think having large breasts makes a woman stupid. Actually, it's quite the opposite: a woman having large breasts makes men stupid.

Some women hold up dresses that are so ugly and they always say the same thing: 'This looks much better on.' on what? On fire?

Before I met my husband, I'd never fallen in love. I'd stepped in it a few times.