Quotes About Humor

My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married adn I didn't want him to.

My mother buried three husbands...and two of them were only napping.

My husband gave me a necklace. It's fake. I requested fake. Maybe I'm paranoid, but in this day and age, I don't want something around my neck that's worth more than my head.

When I eventually met Mr. Right, I had no idea his first name was Always.

I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life

Here it is,' Nigel said. Mrs D, Mrs I, Mrs FFI, Mrs C, Mrs U, Mrs LTY. That spells difficulty.' How perfectly ridiculous!' snorted Miss Trunchbull. 'Why are all these women married?

There aren't many funny bits in Mr Tolkien either,' Matilda said. 'Do you think that all children's books ought to have funny bits in them?' Miss Honey asked. 'I do,' Matilda said. 'Children are not so serious as grown-ups and love to laugh.

Oh, my sainted aunt! Don't mention that disgusting stuff in front of me! Do you know what breakfast cereal is made of? It's made of all those little curly wooden shavings you find in pencil sharpeners!

What on earth were you trying to do, make yourself look handsome or something? You look like someone's grandmother gone wrong!

A little nonsense now and then, is relished by the wisest men," Mr. Wonka said.

If she's a lady, I'm a vernicious knid. (Eddie Albert in Willy Wanka and the Chocolate Factory)

I am a mouse! You wait till my father hears about this! - He may think it's an improvement.

Hey, my spaghetti's moving!" cried Mr. Twit, poking around in it with his fork. "It's a new kind," Mrs. Twit said, taking a mouthful from her own plate which of course had no worms. "It's called Squiggly Spaghetti. It's delicious. Eat it up while it's nice and hot.

A little nonsense now and then, is relished by the wisest men

mouse-trrraps

They is all at least two times my wideness and double my royal highness!

The act of copulation is like that of picking the nose. It's all right to be doing it yourself but it is a singularly unattractive spectacle for the onlooker.

I padri e le madri sono tipi strani: anche se il figlio è il più orribile moccioso che si possa immaginare, sono convinti che si tratti di un bambino stupendo. Niente di male: il mondo è fatto così. Ma quando dei genitori cominciano a spiegarci che il loro orrendo pargolo è un autentico genio, viene proprio da urlare: — Presto, una bacinella! Ho una nausea tremenda!

There's three of them in nightshirts! Two old women and one

How can you whip cream without whips? Whipped cream isn't whipped cream at all unless it's been whipped with whips. Just as a poached egg isn't a poached egg unless it's been stolen from the woods in the dead of night!

Hey, look at all those cheeky birds still up there on the roof! Let's

Formula 86 Delayed Action Mouse-Maker!

Books shouldn't be daunting, they should be funny, exciting and wonderful; and learning to be a reader gives a terrific advantage.

I have therefore prepared personally vith my own hands a limited qvantity of Delayed Action Mouse-Maker vhich I vill distrrribute to the ancient vuns before you leave the hotel.