Quotes About Humor

I am not a slow writer, I am not a fast writer . . . I am a half-fast writer.

When things are at their blackest, I say to myself, 'Cheer up, things could be worse.' And sure enough, they get worse.

And Quirk's a captain now," he said. "Captain Quirk?" The motorcycle cop grinned. "Captain Quirk," he said.

We finished breakfast and got our luggage. Susan carried my small overnight bag. I carried her big bag, and her smaller one, and the one that contained her makeup, and one she referred to as the big poofy one, and a large straw hat she had worn to the beach, which didn't fit into anything. "Why don't you get a bellman," Susan said.

The Mass. Ave. Bridge is open... Some MIT students once measured it by repeatedly placing an undergraduate named Smoot on the ground and marking off his length. Every six feet or so there is still the indication of one smoot, two smoots, painted on the pavement. I could never remember how many smoots long the bridge was.

Susan came into the living room with her cowboy boots on and no other clothes. "Howdy," I said.

You right," Hawk said. "Couldn't happen. Be like J. Edgar Hoover running around in a dress." "Exactly," I said. "Impossible.

Did William Powell take Myrna Loy to a Dunkin' Donut shop?" "He didn't know enough," I said. I raised my coffee cup toward her.

SUSAN AND I made love at her house, we had to shut Pearl the wonder dog out of the bedroom, because if we didn't, Pearl would attempt tirelessly to insinuate herself between us. Neither

I wonder why I'm so uneasy naked," she said. "Maybe it's the gimlet-eyed lechery of my gaze," I said. "Probably," she said.

He was probably stud duck at the Rotary Club cookouts. I could have taken him while whistling the Michigan fight song and balancing a seal on my nose.

A veritable circle jerk," Susan said. "Wow," I said, "you shrinks have a technical language all your own, don't you?" "Bet your ass," Susan said. "Do you know the identity of the third snoop?

She rearranged her legs again. If she kept doing that, it was possible that I might begin to bugle like a stallion. Which would not be dignified. Beth

Don't you think we're oversexed?" "You're the shrink," I said. "You tell me." "Yes," she said. "I believe we are." "What should we do about it?" I said. "Encourage the pathology," Susan said, and smiled her rebelangel smile at me.

How can a man with your heritage not be able to tap-dance." I heard Hawk's gliding chuckle. "My ancestors busy eating missionaries, boy.

There seems to be no lengths to which humorless people will not go to analyze humor. It seems to worry them. Robert Benchley (1889-1945)

Go jogging? And get hit by a meteor?

Generally thus much we may conclude of melancholy; that it is [2604] most pleasant at first, I say, mentis gratissimus error, [2605] a most delightsome humour, to be alone, dwell alone, walk alone, meditate, lie in bed whole days, dreaming awake as it were, and frame a thousand fantastical imaginations unto themselves.

She made them all laugh and forget for a moment that they were dying men.

John was watching her walk away when Harriet found him. "John!" Chen jumped off his stool and flashed an unctuous smile, accelerating from zero to full-on asskiss faster than a screaming Tesla.

Bishop had the muscle tone of Jell-O. Rossi

She asked me why I always had something flip to say. I said that I didn't know, but having been blessed with the gift, I felt obliged to use it.

I drove back to Belmont Pier, parked in front of a shop that sold whale-watching tickets, and used a pay phone there to call Lou Poitras. He said, "Bubba, you really take advantage." "Funny. Your wife said the same thing." Poitras sighed. "Just tell me what you want." Humor. You break them down with humor, and victory is yours.

Fifteen minutes later I parked behind Teri Haines's Saturn and went to the door. I kind of expected to find the house in smoking ruins, but I guess Charles had passed out from overeating. Lighten up, Cole. He's only a kid. Sure. They probably said that when Attila was a kid, too.