Quotes About Humor

Artemis had once seen Holly get into a fistfight with another elf who said her hair looked pretty, because she thought he was being sarcastic, as she was sporting a fresh crew cut on that particular day. Holly didn't go on many dates. Holly

You still awake?' asked the anesthetist. 'Nope,' I replied.

Artemis hooked the speaker over one ear, adjusting the mike stem so it wound across his mouth. 'Foaly? Are you listening?' 'Are you kidding?' came the reply. 'This is better than human soap operas.

Artemis and Holly stood there in their underwear, gingerly locking fingers. They had crossed space and time together, weathered rebellions, and tangled with demented despots. Coughed blood, lost digits, inhaled dwarf fumes, and swapped eyeballs, yet they found holding hands awkward. No1 knew he shouldn't, but he couldn't resist a parting crack. "I now pronounce you . . .

Artemis was wearing a pair of red Armani boxer shorts, which were pretty much the same color as his face.

The Brill brothers fled to the cockpit, trying to simultaneously bow, look at their feet, not think anything dangerous, and above all, not pass wind.

Careful with that, said the Doctor. No need to get carried away. Aldridge spun the scalpel like a baton. Yessir. Careful is my middle name. Actually Clumsy is my middle name, but that doesn't encourage clients and it makes me sound like one of those dwarfs that are going to be so popular when moving pictures a get going.

The cow spat. "What are you going to do? Not eat me?" "That's right. I won't eat you and I won't eat your entire family. Wherever they hide, I'll find them and not eat a single bite.

which was a bit like a mouse chasing a cat, a giant mutant cat with laser eyes and a bellyful of smaller spiteful cats.

Holly wanted to be sure she understood what was being said. "So you're saying that Shelly is going to light a fart?" "No, Shelly is going to light the fart. He has stored enough methane to power Haven for a year. There hasn't been a fart like this since the last dwarf tribal gathering.

Foaly is singing," said Holly. "Surely that's illegal?

Opal giggled. For someone, who never smiled, he had a delicious sense of humor.

When life gives you a lemon, thought Teddy, slipping his fingers neatly into the weapon's finger holes, you knock the lemon senseless.

So, Mo," said Loafers, chuckling as if that simple rhyme was the funniest joke he had ever made. (Sadly, it was.)

Er... WARP: Witness Anonymous Relocation Programme.' 'That sounds like they threw in Anonymous to fit the name WARP. Otherwise they'd have WRP and what kind of acronym would that be?

We hebben de wereld gered, of in ieder geval ervoor gezorgd dat de twee werelden niet met elkaar in botsing zijn gekomen.' Artemis knikte. 'Het wordt er niet eenvoudiger op. Misschien moet iemand anders het nu maar eens doen.' Holly gaf hem speels een stomp tegen zijn arm. 'Die stijl van ons heeft toch verder niemand?

Guide Note: For the past three decades of real time, the human Arthur Dent had made his life infinitely more miserable than it needed to be by displaying a spectacular ability to say the right thing but at the wrong time.

Foaly almost grinned. Whatever I need to do.

ISBN 978-1-4231-3219-6

knit a sweater of ants

Beckett placed the spectacles on his face. "Look at me," he said. "I'm Myles Fowl. The vortex of the quadrangle is deteriorating my underpants." And he was gone, back-flipping to earth and scampering across the garden like a boy who had been raised by beasts.

Little Beau will be fascinated." "Couldn't I just shoot him?

How do I love thee?" wondered Orion. "Let me see. I love thee passionately and eternally . . . obviously eternally— that goes without saying." Holly blinked sweat from her eyes. "Is he serious?" she called over her shoulder to Foaly. "Oh, absolutely," said the centaur, his voice juddering along with the pod's motion. "If he asks you to look for birthmarks, say no immediately.

One, don't call me Julius. Two, do what I say, horsey boy, or I'll have your budget slashed. And three, what in Frond's name is the cancan?