Quotes About Humor

For some reason, comedians are still children. The social skills somehow never reach us, so we say exactly what we think without weighing the results.

How in the world any one weighing 185 pounds can be cute is beyond me.

I love comedians that dive into politics. I personally don't feel comfortable, with my background, weighing in unless I have a take that I think is funny enough that I would put it in front of an audience.

I don't want to lose weight to live long or be healthy. I just want to be able to make fun of fat people again and know for sure that they're fatter than me.

Does having a wife and kids change your act? Yes, but only in the best way. It gives you weight and authority. It also makes you closer to the audience because the audience is married and has kids.

I have a tendency toward the pleasures of the flesh. It's a battle for me, as far as weight and things like that. But I'm curbing them because I want to continue to do comedy, and the two don't mix. So I try to fight those demons.

What happened to me is I gained a little weight so I could be more accessible to people. They're not like, 'Oh my God, he's, like, a male model comedian; yuck, ugh.' It's like, 'Oh, he's a little squishy; He's like me. He's accessible.' And girls are like, 'Look how cuddly he is. I just want to cuddle up in his neck fat and go to sleep.'

I was a fat little boy when I was 10 years old! My mother, who didn't speak any English at all, said, 'I know the only thing is to put him in an English boarding school. The food will be so horrible that he'll lose his weight.'

I don't like to boast, but I have probably skipped more poetry than any other person of my age and weight in this country.

It's so easy to judge everybody and for some reason extra weight is the one thing everything feels OK to joke about.

I returned from my last L.A. visit to find myself tipping the scales like Homer Simpson when he tries to gain enough weight to qualify as disabled to be allowed to work from home. All I was missing was his kaftan and Fat Guy Hat. So, I decided it was time to diet.

All the people who follow me on Twitter know my sense of humor. I sometimes forget the blogosphere will give it more weight than I intended.

I think there's something really thrilling to having to get people laughing about something, and then, when you have them in that comfort space, you can drop the weight into the texture of the story.

I know what I look like - a weird, sad clown puppet. I'm fine with that.

I did stand-up, weird and ignorant stuff about my career - anything for a laugh.

Everyone says I'm like the girl next door... Y'all must have really weird neighbors!

I haven't had to do too many, or many explicit ones. Everybody feels weird, and everybody is trying to tiptoe around and make you think they're not there. The last time I did a love scene, I couldn't keep a straight face.

I actually think of being funny as an odd turn of mind, like a mild disability, some weird way of looking at the world that you can't get rid of.

I'm not interested in being one of those comedians who wants to look good and be this 'cool' funny person. I don't care how weird or ugly I look.

I'm quite sarcastic, and I'm funny, but not kind of funny. It's a weird funny, and some people don't get me, and some people do.

I try to take normal things - whether it's a serious subject or something as obscure as a piece of toast - and put a very weird twist on them.

I'm strange! I have a weird sense of humor! I look crazy!

I get this weird energy that starts in my feet and goes up and fills my head, and I just want to get everyone in the crowd to laugh.

I'm a weird guy with a weird sense of humor.