Quotes About Humor

Hannah leaned against the wall. 'Mind if I call shotgun?' 'Since you're carrying one? Feel free.

Whenever anyone finds out there are seven kids in my family, the imagine my mom and dad having sex.

Whenever anyone finds out there are seven kids in my family, they imagine my mom and dad having sex.

I have no wisdom to share on dating.

You'll have to go get laid by a random stranger." Bo pointed to the television. "Can I wait for a commercial or do I have to git-'er-done right now?" "You can wait.

You called him a big dumb dodo?" Caroline asked later that night as the two of them sat on Jane's couch watching the gas fireplace lick the fake logs. "Why didn't you go for broke and call him a poo-poo head too?

He can trade me to a team below five hundred if he wants to, or worse, I could find myself wearing a duck on my sweater.

Men for the most part are a pain in the keister. Vibrators are a girl's best friend.

The bigger the hair the closer to God" was not just a saying in the northern panhandle, it was like the eleventh commandment: Thou shalt have big hair.

Pratite me do sobe?« upitala je i ne pokuÅ¡avajuci prikriti razdražljivost. »Da.« Ali ni on nije zvucao sretno zbog toga. »ZaÅ¡to? Ne morate me pratiti do sobe.« »Ja sam drag momak.« Trpko se nasmijala i pogledala ga krajickom oka. »Ako to stvarno mislite, gadno se varate. Možda su vas previÅ¡e puta udarili u glavu.«

If you're disappointed, we could always make it true. No one else has to know. Jut you and me and cute beavers.

You're beautiful," he said. "I'm as big as cow." "A beautiful cow." She chuckled. "I'm fat." "You're not fat." (Stella & Beau)

Keep your pants up, gentlemen," she said as she moved to stand in the middle of the half-naked players. "I'll just take a moment of your time, and I'd prefer you not do your synchronized jock-dropping thing.

Oh, I don't know if I'd kick your ass. You're not that bad." She laughed. "I'd spank you real good, though." - Kate

I can't believe you grew up and ate a monkey. Worse, I can't believe I let a guy who ate a monkey kiss my mouth." Honey,I kissed more than your mouth.

I've got genuine political reasons for not voting for David Cameron. He's got a tiny little mouth.

Oh no, the dead have risen and they're voting Republican.

I was in Starbucks and the person in front of me said: 'Can I have a tall, skinny, black Americano please?' I said: 'Are you ordering coffee or voting in the U.S. elections?'

When a monk takes a vow of silence, is he still allowed to post messages on the Internet? Chances are God won't find out. Being ancient, God probably can't work computers. He holds the mouse gingerly, like it's made of fine china.

The big political news, Arnold Schwarzenegger announced he's running for governor of California, and already, people are chanting, 'Four more vowels, four more vowels.'

I am very romantic. In fact, I just renewed my vows... although it was with another woman.

When satire is aimed at the powerless, it is not only cruel - it's vulgar.

Too much comedy today is vulgar, not clever. I say that as a comedian and as a consumer.

Those years on the golf course as a caddie, boy, those people were something. They were vulgar, some were alcoholics, racist, they were very difficult people to deal with. A lot of them didn't have a sense of humor.