Quotes About Humor

There's a lot to be said for making people laugh… did you know that's all some people have? It isn't much… but it's better than nothing in this cockeyed caravan.

You're certainly a funny girl for anybody to meet who's just been up the Amazon for a year.

GERRY I would step on your face! HACKENSACKER That's quite all right, I rather enjoyed it. GERRY Twice! HACKENSACKER You made quite an impression.

When a man opens the car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife.

When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife.

What do you gargle with? Pebbles? (to singer Tom Jones after a 1969 Royal Variety performance)

As a person, he was wonderful. He really was a great person. He was full of life. He had a great sense of humor. Very talented, of course, but very caring to his parents. There was a very endearing quality about Elvis.

An employee who remains fool have a ton of fun in the corporate world.

When the wine is in, the wit is out.

Adam was the luckiest of men; he had no mother-in-law.

Marry a child of the devil and you're going to have problems with your father-in-law.

The bachelor is a peacock, the engaged man a lion, and the married man a jackass.

I'm afraid you've got a bad egg, Mr. Jones.Oh no, my Lord, I assure you! Parts of it are excellent!

A hearty laugh gives one a dry cleaning, while a good cry is a wet wash.

there was once on set where I had the runs and I'm not talking the normal kinda shit IM talking like diarrhea with steam cause dat bitch was so hot comin out my ass. I turned around and it came pouring out hitting some of those damn kida by God!

Nothing shortens a journey so pleasantly as an account of misfortunes at which the hearer is permitted to laugh.

There was no need to do any housework at all. After the first four years the dirt doesn't get any worse.

Life was a funny thing that occured on the way to the grave.

Quentin Crisp (to handsome young man on the street): "What's the matter, sexy? Don't you like dehydrated fruit?

I did not know that a reputation for wit is earned not by making jokes, but by laughing at the pleasantries of others.

I don't have any pets. I've got enough dumb friends without them.

Humor I think of as the outward sign of the ability to look at events and situations from more than one point of view. It is this gift that keeps us all from living in a perpetual rage.

Life was a funny thing that happened to me on the way to the grave.

To me, torture would be watching sports on television.