Quotes About Humor

You know what? I've never paid taxes in my life. I'm probably going to go to jail.

'Taxi' made a big difference because it got me into comedy.

The owner of one club once interrupted my set to inform me that my taxi had arrived. I don't think he meant it to sound as cutting as it did.

I'm no economist. I don't even play one on TV. I'm just a husband, a father, a taxpayer.

He's not very fast, but maybe Elizabeth Taylor can't sing.

My friends are very rich. Elizabeth Taylor sends flowers the size of the bathtub. I'm not kidding.

Some people get a kick out of Taylor Hicks being their landlord.

There are a lot of girls I've found attractive, but we could never date. If a girl can make me laugh, that's really attractive to me. I have a soft spot for southern girls who are sweet, like Taylor Swift!

Women like me. Women love me. But not so my wife need worry. Not in a 'he's so hot' type of way. More in a 'come round for a cup of tea' way.

We used to do sock puppet shows for my auntie back in the day. Me and my friends would do accents of Englishmen, and we would sip tea and act like we were rich in front of the family, and they thought it was just hilarious, the level of perception that we had about things that we'd never experienced.

In 1991 I did an interview wherein I described myself as a 'teetotal Christian,' which was an exaggeration, although I do like tea and Christ.

If I am totally honest, I would have to say that 'Allo 'Allo!' was not my cup of tea, even though lots of people loved it. For that reason, I find comedy fascinating. There is a huge difference between what people find funny.

I've always wanted to do an adult cartoon, because I want a job where you can just drive up in your pajamas, have a cup of tea and not even get dressed, and you've gone to work for the day. What a great gig!

Those 'Airplane!' type of movies, they've never been my cup of tea.

Comedy is harder, because if there's no laughs, it's pretty bad. But drama, if there's no reaction, you can say, 'Well, it's not their cup of tea. Maybe it's too heavy for the audience.'

At times, for sure, I do love a party. However, I do love going back to my room and putting on 'Only Fools And Horses' and having a cup of tea.

I don't know how to make tea.

Lavatorial humour is just not my cup of tea. But, having said that, I'm really of the mind that comedy is so subjective and whatever makes you laugh makes you laugh. If it doesn't make you laugh, don't watch it.

You can't teach somebody how to be funny. You're either funny, or you ain't.

When I teach the formal curriculum, I have the chance to think about it ahead of time. I can rehearse it. I can illustrate it with self-deprecating humor and humble-sounding personal disclosure. I can try to make it comes out just right.

I was never a class clown or anything like that, but I do remember being in the first grade and my teacher, Mr. Chad, told the class one day that we were going to do some exercises. He meant math exercises, but I stood up and started doing jumping jacks. To this day, I don't know what possessed me to do that, but all my friends cracked up.

I'd like to say I was smart enough to finish six grades in five years, but I think perhaps the teacher was just glad to get rid of me.

The American audience has really opened up to women being A.) funny and B.) kinda crude. 'Bridesmaids' is R-rated, and I think it was a major coup for women to have an R-rated comedy that did really well. Same as 'Bad Teacher.'

A friend of mine said, no matter what I do I always look like an English teacher. She actually said, you still look like a Campbell's Soup kid.