Quotes About Humor

What's so funny?' asked Dimitri, looking down at me with amusement. 'I'm just thinking about what Lissa would say if we still had the bond.' In a very bad breach of guardian protocol, he caught a hold of my hand and pulled me toward him. 'And?' he asked, wrapping me in an embrace. 'I think she'd ask, 'What have we gotten ourselves into?

Show her those boring shirts you bought. She'll go into a coma. I'm about ready to.

Yeah? Can you draw a skeleton riding a motorcycle with flames coming out of it? And I want a pirate hat on the skeleton. And a parrot on his shoulder. A skeleton parrot. Or maybe a ninja skeleton parrot? No, that would be overkill. But it'd be cool if the biker skeleton could be shooting some ninja throwing stars. That are on fire.

No one is more profoundly sad than he who laughs too much.

of infinite wit and pleasantry

inconsequential M-3 Stuart caused one American general to muse that "the only way to hurt a Kraut with a 37mm is to catch him and give him an enema with it" the half-track mounted with a 75mm gun was already known as a "Purple Heart box." American tanks were so flammable they were dubbed Ronsons, after a popular cigarette lighter advertised with the slogan "They light every time.

everyone went and had some turkey and cornbread dressing, and hot biscuits, and mashed potatoes running with butter, and when they prayed, they thanked God for the good fortune that had found their boy, who had sense enough to know that if you're going to be hit by a train, you have to go stand on the tracks in Memphis, Tennessee. Amen.

My Uncle Jimbo never challenged a man to a duel to defend his honor, but he did win a $20 bet by eating a bologna sandwich while sitting on a dead mule. My grandmother prayed a tornado away, and punched a city woman in the eye.

How do you not love a dog with a toilet seat halo around its head?

When I'm at a Chinese restaurant having a hard time with chopsticks, I always hope that there's a Chinese kid at an American restaurant somewhere who's struggling mightily with a fork.

They talk about the economy this year. Hey, my hairline is in recession, my waistline is in inflation. Altogether, I'm in a depression.

It actually giggles at you as it goes by.

Not only that, if he double-bogeyed out, he'd break 100, which would be on a par with a lobster climbing out of the tank at Jimmy's Seafood Grill, taking the stage and whistling the entire score of Cats. "Gentlemen, we

Keep climbing,' he told himself. 'Cheeseburgers,' his stomach replied. 'Shut up,' he thought. 'With fries,' his stomach complained.

Lots of death, huh? Personally, I'm trying to avoid lots of death, but you guys have fun!

I'm Dylan. I'm so cool. I want to date myself, but I don't know how! You want to date me instead? You're so lucky!

Don't feel bad, I'm usually about to die.

I'd love to tell you I had some deep revelation on my way down, that I came to terms with my own mortality, laughed in the face of death, et cetera. The truth? My only thought was: Aaaaggghhhhh!

It's hard to enjoy practical jokes when your whole life feels like one.

Please, Percy...change your clothes. You smell like you've been run over by an electric horse.

This is Annabeth," Jason said. Uh, normally she doesn't judo-flip people.

You know what would help this boy?" Demeter mused. "Farming." Persephone rolled her eyes. "Mother-" "Six months behind a plow. Excellent character building.

Hmm…" Jason snapped his fingers. I can call a friend for a ride." Percy raised his eyebrows. Oh, yeah? Me too. Let's see whose friend gets here first.

Percy (to Annabeth): If I was going to pick one person in the world to reattach my head, I'd pick you. Silena: Awww . . . Percy, that is so sweet! Annabeth: Shut up, Silena.