Quotes About Humor

If skirts get any shorter, said the flapper with a sob, I'll have two more cheeks to powder and a lot more hair to bob!

Perhaps the god who had made the Cat People intended them as a joke. They had schools, but no education; politicians but no government; people, but no personal integrity; faces, but no concept of face. One had to admit that their god had gone a little too far with his little joke.

GARRY TRUDEAU IN his Doonesbury comic strip had been twitting the president about his shattered syntax and making it appear as if the president couldn't organize a sentence on his own. While that was frequently true when speaking extempore, he could do so with preparation.

she had a great sense of humor. She was intoxicating, and any man she met immediately fell in love with her—including me. --Dickie Arbiter

I don't see how being married could be any worse than listening to you talk for twenty years, but that still ain't much of a recommendation for it.

Deets slapped his leg and laughed, the thought was so funny. When the rest of the outfit finally wondered down from the house they found the two of them grinning back and forth at one another. Look at 'em, Augustus said. You'd think they just discovered teeth.

Why hell yes, Joe Bob! A cripple can always get himself a wooden leg, or a glass eye, or a metal hook for a hand, or any of that mess -- but there ain't no known substitute for a big dick. I guess you is out of luck!

i'd hate to read all these books...that much reading could put your eyes out.

She had always loved to tease and considered it an irony of her life that she was often drawn to men who didn't recognize teasing even when she was inflicting it on them.

I don't claim to know much: cards, fucking, and dentistry about covers it," Doc said.

Dern, I hate cooking with shit. -- Augustus McCrae to Lorena Wood

My main skills are talking and cooking biscuits," Augustus said. "And getting drunk on the porch.

And the blue pigs walked all the way to Montana just to be eaten. Life ain't for sissies, as Augustus might have said.

My main skills are talking and cooking biscuits," Augustus said. "And getting drunk on the porch. I've probably slipped a little on the biscuits in the last few days, and I've lost the porch, but I can still talk with the best of them.

It feels silly to kiss a smile. At best you just sort of bump teeth.

We don't rent pigs.

What part of a man is it best to shoot at?" asked Sean. "His horse," said Jake.

I said we oughta get married," Louisa said loudly. "What I like about you is you're quiet. Jim talked every second that he didn't have a whiskey bottle in his mouth. I got tired of listening. Also, you're skinny. If you don't last, you'll be easy to bury. I've buried enough husbands to take such things into account. What do you say?

I wish you'd stop talking about your own death, Gus said, in a joking tone. It ain't genteel.

Engineers. You had to love them. (The alternative was strangling them, and he didn't want that catching on.)

Strange. I would have thought that humor was an aspect of intelligence. No. Humor is associated with an interrupted defense mechanism. All the same— Speaker, no sapient being ever interrupts a defense mechanism.

Well, I thought it was funny. -Stephen Colbert

She probably called to see if you're still alive," Hoffa deadpanned. In a voice meant for everyone to hear, Kennedy said, "I'm still alive, dear. If you hear a big explosion, I probably won't be.

The only reason why world war 2 happened was because Chuck Norris decided to take a nap.