Quotes About Humor

My nan tells me to eat her fish balls and not drink alcohol. I'd rather have the fish balls.

Everyone tells me I need to do comedy. It's never something that crossed my mind, but to be able to do a true comedy and make people laugh, that would be great.

Somehow, I'm in denial about being desirable. But every time my wife tells me to shave or cut my hair or clean up my look, I playfully boast to her that I'm the most desirable man!

'Adventure Time' tells stories where anything can happen, but what happens is. It stars Finn, a boy who fights evil, and Jake, a dog with stretchy powers. Both of them can talk.

I don't want a chat show or to be on telly every day, as that's not my business; my business is standing in front of people and making them laugh, and I want to see how far I can get with that.

I don't think I'm any different on 'Celebrity Juice' or daytime telly. It's what's going on around me that's different. I don't suddenly become all outrageous and rude on 'Celebrity Juice.'

Pretty much every comic that you see live is going to be slighter ruder, slightly darker and slightly more scary. But there are restrictions when you're on the telly. I'm not trying to rude it up for live. I just have to restrict myself on the telly.

It's best, I think, to treat stand-up comedy on the telly like tapas: small tasters of something you'd love a proper plate of.

On telly, if it's not the right kind of show, I revert back to my 'Girlie Show' persona, become this daft, bawdy caricature of myself and I'm not actually like that, I'm actually quite - not clever, but smart with my words.

I'd seen Richard Pryor and Joan Rivers, the stuff off the telly. I don't think I'd seen anything live before I did a gig, which is weird.

I've written four jokes ever about cakes. But because they were show jokes, they were on the telly a lot. And everywhere I go people give me cupcakes. I don't eat them, I give them away.

Stand-up on the telly is one thing, but seeing it live is something else. There are brilliant comedians playing to rooms above pubs and arts centres around the corner from where you live. And anything could happen at a live gig.

I've had my own comedy series on telly and I know the truth about politics.

Much of the legend surrounding my mother is true. She was a beautiful, talented, warmhearted woman who had the greatest sense of humor. At the same time, she was a sharp, fiery lady who was full of spunk and had a flashy temper.

I don't have an explosive temper. People seem to think that - maybe somewhere lives the lion in my cage. But I'm actually kind of goofy.

I believe that singing is the key to long life, a good figure, a stable temperament, increased intelligence, new friends, super self-confidence, heightened sexual attractiveness, and a better sense of humor.

I'd say I'm moody, I'd say I'm temperamental. But within my certain group of friends and family, I'm very open and outgoing and joke around a lot.

It doesn't make a difference what temperature a room is, it's always room temperature.

Scotland needs comedy more than ever. With the independence debate, finally after 300 years, reaching room temperature.

Your number one job as a comedian is to be aware. You're supposed to understand the temperature in the room more than anyone on the planet - that's the whole craft of comedy.

Sometimes I am so dry that people don't know I'm kidding and think I'm being serious. I enjoy this because their reactions are often funny.

She asked me why I always had something flip to say. I said that I didn't know, but having been blessed with the gift, I felt obliged to use it.

JFK to RFK: To survive in politics, you sometimes have to be willing to make fun of yourself.

Who are you?' 'They call me Good-Looking Joe,' the stranger replied. 'You gave yourself that name, right?' Joe laughed. 'Only the Joe part.