Quotes About Humor

Oh God, if there be cricket in heaven, let there also be rain.

I was thinking about making a comeback, until I pulled a muscle vacuuming.

If the Bible has taught us nothing else, and it hasn't, it's that girls should stick to girls sports, such as hot oil wrestling, foxy boxing, and such and such.

Golf is one of the few sports where a white man can dress like a black pimp and not look bad.

I think of football as a sport the way ducks think of hunting as a sport.

I had a .200 lifetime batting average in the major leagues, which tied me with another sports great averaging 200 or better for a ten-year period: Don Carter, one of our top bowlers.

I have to wear two sports bras when I do my cardio. It takes a lot to hold these puppies up!

The hitter asks the owner to give him a big raise so he can go somewhere he's never been, and the owner says "You mean third base?"

For what do we live, but to make sport for our neighbors and laugh at them in our turn?

Have you seen a blowfish driving a sports car?

I don't know. I never smoked AstroTurf.

When I did sports cartoons, I used to uh, go to fights.

My favorite sport is female and my favorite food is beer.

Grandchildren now don't write a thank you for the Christmas presents. They are walking on their pants with their cap on backward, listening to the Enema Man and Snoopy, Snoopy Poop Dog.

One day ladies will take their computers for walks in the park and tell each other, My little computer said such a funny thing this morning. ~ Alan Turing

And he began to see his world as an amusing place where ridiculous things happened and where a man or woman could obey all the rules and avoid all the perils but still fall into some absurd situation at which their neighbors and the spirits themselves had to laugh and not furtively either but with great guffaws. The world was tragic, and fine men and strong animals died arbitrarily, but it was also so preposterous that sometimes the crests of mountains seemed to bend together in laughter.

Can we drop the 'artificial intelligence'? It's a bit like me calling you a meat-based processing system.

The bigotry of the nonbeliever is for me nearly as funny as the bigotry of the believer.

A serious-minded man enjoys a good laugh now and then.

Only two things are infinite,the universe and memes,and i am not sure about the former.

Humor, motivations, moral,gods,energy,secrecy

Question: What is a scientific author? Answer: A cross between a mimosa and a porcupine.

Intelligent life on other planets? I'm not even sure there is on earth!

A funny little literary article in the hand is worth at least three Critiques of Pure Reason in the bush.