Quotes About Humor

They also learned that the very best way to start a marriage was with a good laugh. Particularly when the children start coming.

As the doctor said, When a fifty-eight-year-old man goes downtown dressed up in a Dale Evans cowgirl outfit, complete with a skirt with fringe, it's time...

waga oya no / shinuru toki ni mo / he o kokite3 Even at the time When my father lay dying I still kept farting.

You're so drunk you might shoot off your nipple, and then where would you be? --Dolly Nippleless. Without a nipple. Bosom with no nipple. -Ariel Wish List by Fern Michaels

There's no greater proof of an impoverished mind than its inability to be witty except at other people's expense.

Hablar sinceramente de ciertos temas serios implica el tono humorístico como único modo de evitar la solemne ridiculez.

An Englishman will burn his bed to catch a flea' – TURKISH PROVERB

I cannot say whether there is fur on my wife's legs for I have never seen them nor do I intend to commit myself to the folly of looking at them. In any event and in all politeness -nothing would be further from me than to insult a guest- I deem the point you have made as unimportant because there is surely nothing in the old world to prevent a deceitful kangaroo from shaving the fur from her legs, assuming she is a woman?

Are your friends as good as MY friends? I can discern the nod of of assent but doubt it. My own friends are far better, they are famous people and they are all dead. Who, you may ask, are those friends of mine, and why are they dead? It is a fair question. They are dead because, had they lived, they would have died anyway from extreme old age and decrepitude.

I was at a wake the other night and every man jack was drunk - even the corpse.

He and the girl had almost nothing to say to each other. One thing he did say was, 'I ain't got any tattoo on my back.' 'What you got on it?' the girl said. 'My shirt,' Parker said. 'Haw.' 'Haw, haw,' the girl said politely.

When I was six I had a chicken that walked backward and was in the Pathe News. I was in it too with the chicken. I was just there to assist the chicken but it was the high point in my life. Everything since has been anticlimax.

I couldn't make any judgment on the Summa, except to say this: I read it for about twenty minutes every night before I go to bed. If my mother were to come in during this process and say, 'Turn off that light. It's late,' I with a lifted finger and broad bland beatific expression, would reply, 'On the contrary, I answer that the light, being eternal and limitless, cannot be turned off. Shut your eyes,' or some such thing.

Simone Weil's] life is almost a perfect blend of the Comic and the Terrible, which two things may be opposite sides of the same coin. In my own experience, everything funny I have written is more terrible than it is funny, or only funny because it is terrible, or only terrible because it is funny.

I told you you could hang around and work for food, she said, if you don't mind sleeping in that car yonder. Why listen, Lady, he said with a grin of delight, the monks of old slept in their coffins! They wasn't as advanced as we are, the old woman said.

I am not a warthog from hell.

When will someone write from the point of view of a joke, that is to say the way God sees events from above?

I will make a joke about any of my family members, about me, about my wife, if I really thought that I'm doing it to be funny. If there's some darkness to it, or I think it's ill-willed or mean or not cool, then I won't do it.

I always had funny stories to tell, but my family members never laughed at them.

I've always been a big fan of political and social satire.

I'm a big fan of comedy music.

I'm such a huge 'Arrested Development' fan.

When I first saw my wife in Romania I said to Kingy, 'I fancy her' and he said, 'Nah, mate, she's really scary.'

'NewsRadio' was fantastic.