Quotes About Humor

The whole experience of doing a sitcom is... Telling jokes with such precision is really exciting, but it's also terrifying.

Clowns drink to blot out the ravages of terrifying children for a living.

Stand-up comedy seems like a terrifying thing. Objectively. Before anyone has done it, it seems like one of the most frightening things you could conceive, and there's just no shortcut - you just have to do it.

Nothing compares to being in a room full of politicians screaming abuse at each other all night. It's hilarious but also a bit terrifying.

For me, comedy was deftly terrifying.

I don't want to infringe on Alec Baldwin's territory, but I'm a pretty darn good 'Words With Friends' player.

I want that which is hilarious and that which is heartbreaking to occupy the same territory in the book because I think they very often occupy the same territory in life, much as we try to separate them.

I like to deal with EVERY aspect of our condition, and that means terror and humor in equal mix. Some books have more room for humor than others.

I've done a lot of death cartoons - tombstones, Grim Reaper, illness, obituaries... I'm not great at analyzing things, but my guess is that maybe the only relief from the terror of being alive is jokes.

Sea Shepherd is to terrorism what Groucho was to Marxism.

I try to make the majority of my audience laugh. That's my audience. They'll laugh at the dead terrorist.

When I was studying comedy in Chicago, it wasn't long after 9/11. There were a lot Middle Eastern comedians who were doing bits about hailing cabs and being terrorists. So the first two years, I didn't do any of that because I wanted to separate myself from those guys. But race is a big part of who I am, and it should be a big part of my comedy.

My arms are probably the same size as John Terry's legs.

I get a call from my sister. They go, 'We met the funniest, funniest doctor in Newport Beach.' And they introduced me to Dr. Terry Dubrow.

You initially become funny as a kid because you're looking for attention and love. Psychologists think that's all to do with mother abandonment. I think John Cleese has his depressions, and Terry Gilliam's the same. All of us together make one completely insane person.

Usually, if I think something is really funny, I'm not gonna test it. I'll just test it when I'm onstage.

Honestly, I never really thought I'd be a comedian. But I did take an aptitude test in seventh grade - and this is 100 percent true - I took an aptitude test in seventh grade, and it said in my best profession was a clown or a mime.

I think comics should test people, I think it's our job to go too far. That way we know as a society what too far is. Where else are you going to hear it?

Even though Laverne and Shirley were always, like, submitting themselves for medical testing and falling asleep on a date or whatever, they always had each other's back.

Robert Morley sat with Wilfred Hyde White, watching the coronation parade of Queen Elizabeth. In an open carriage approached the very large Queen Salote of Tonga. Resplendent in a floral dress and ignoring the rain. "Who do you think that is beside queen Salote?" asked Wilfred, looking down at his program. Robert glanced at the diminutive Tonga ambassador in his top hat and tails and suggested, "her lunch perhaps".

Trying to put someone in prison for making a fart joke seemed far more likely to produce more courtroom laughter, more sensational acquittals, and a lot more fart jokes.

Keep your hair on, mate,' Kevin said chirpily as he jumped off the table. 'Oh wait, you haven't got any, have you …

James grabbed one of the curtains and used it to wipe the dog crap off his leg.

If I see you walking around with bits of dead cow on your feet again, I'll shoot your bloody toes off.