Quotes About Humor

Now this was the first time I ever dumped a bowl of beans on Doolittle Lynn, but it wouldn't be the last. They became my weapon of choice. If beans was around when I got good and mad, you can bet he'd run.

I see you overdosed on vitamin bitch today

When Trace simply held her hands out to her sides and looked at her, Priss asked, Are we going to have sex now? His mouth twitched, and his gaze warmed, but he sounded dead serious when he said, Yeah, I think we are.

If I ever coo at a man, Ray thought privately, I hope someone shoots me.

You were...were... looking at me! Yeah. I was considering having you for breakfast before you kicked me in the jaw.

That bitch fate has a cruel sense of humor.

Not everything's funny, Mother. No, said Leola, so I guess when you can laugh,, it's all the sweeter.

I feared Sarah was one of those women who instead of laughing said, That's funny, or instead of smiling said, That's interesting, or instead of saying, You are a stupid blithering idiot, said, Well I think it's a little more complicated than that.

Nothing's a joke with me. It just all comes out like one.

Nothing is a joke with me. It just all comes out like one.

This is what happened in love. One of you cried a lot and then both of you grow sarcastic.

The affectionate farce I make of him ignores the ways I feel his lack of love for me. But we are managing.

Philosophers are good at parties but not for cleaning up after.

If we were still English we'd be drinking more and driving on the wrong side of the road - pretty much what people do on the Fourth of July anyway.

Which is it, she asked. Is it CLIToris or clotORis? I didn't know. Why didn't I know? It may depend on which you have, I said.

I loved to say quasi. I was saying it now a lot, instead of sort of, or kind of, and it had become a tic. I am quasi ready to go, I would announce. Or, I'm feeling a bit quasi today. Murph called me Quasimodo. Or Kami-quasi. Or wild and quasi girl.

At times like these, she thought, it was probably a good idea to carry a small hand puppet.

If you're suicidal, and you don't actually kill yourself, you become known as 'wry.

I once murdered someone and American Express covered everything.

On Fridays there were fish fries or boils at which they served "lawyers" (burbot or eelpout), so-called because their hearts were in their butts.

The problem with having a sense of humor is often that people you use it on aren't in a very good mood.

The Pope was such a fine little fella, you know.

I'm a man of a certain age - old enough to have been every kind of fool- and I find to my surprise that the only counsel I have to pass on is this: Never let your name be found in a dead man's trousers.

That's how a woman wins a mans heart, by making him think that he amuses her.