Quotes About Humor

My parents have always had a great sense of humor. And I really appreciate good humor in songs, witty lyrics that sneak up on you and then you listen again, and say: 'That's so funny.' John Prine's songs have always had this really witty tone.

I might've been witty, but I didn't have a shtick. So, I never considered myself a comedian.

There is still a lot to be said for the well-made, witty, clever, three-act comedy.

All my brothers and sisters are really witty, and I would just sit back and enjoy them.

I've always liked older women. One sad thing about being my age is that there are no older women. I used to amuse my mother's friends even at five or six with witty turns of phrase. Somehow, I just knew how to be funny.

I say funny stuff in my lyrics to make people laugh, but it's all in the seriousness of the music. I'm just being witty.

What's that one that people seem to like so much? 'Fleabag.' I watched that and it was that sort of Oxbridge 'Oh, I'm so clever and witty, aren't I?' I don't like that stuff. But then I don't like 'Mrs Brown's Boys' either. I like things that are clever but hide it.

If I were obliged to marry all those with whom I have jested, I should have at least two hundred wives.

I have been married twice, but both of my wives have been too bright to be sucked in by women's lib.

Back when Sammy Davis, Jr. and Dean Martin were doing roasts, they were all friends. They knew each other's children, each other's wives, each other's families. It wasn't about being disrespectful. It was about being funny.

I love 'First Wives Club' and 'Death Becomes Her' and movies about women like that.

When men get together, they moan about their wives. The commentary provided on marriage between groups of men is typically one from a viewpoint that assumes marriage to be life's greatest, most unfun mistake. Not only is it often as disingenuous as Joe Biden's hairline, but it's incredibly harmful.

I go to the grocery store with my wife. She goes off to buy something. Where is she, anyways? So I ask the manager, 'What aisle do they keep the wives in?'

Nobody gets excited when they see me. If I put on my wizard outfit and walk around the airport for a couple of hours, I get a couple of puzzled glances.

Barack Obama, foreign policy wizard. I just have to laugh.

If you want to see what stage comedians did to get laffs a century ago, watch the 1910 'Wizard of Oz.' I hope you have a high tolerance for pratfalls.

Sir Terry Pratchett - he was knighted in 2009, and on him it looked earned rather than entitled - wrote about dragons, wizards, turtles, witches, time-travelling monks, and suitcases with legs.

My mother smokes me out. We'll get these long periods of me thinking I'm too busy to call her up or e-mail her, and she'll send me something. My mom's a real whiner. I love her to death, but she always sends me these 'woe is me' things. I think she might be Jewish. I'm not sure. She's Baptist-Jewish, which is a double whammy.

I went to the doctor last week. I said: 'Can I have some sleeping pills for the wife?' He said: 'Why?' I said: 'She's woke up.'

Last night I slept like a log. I woke up in the fire place.

One day I woke up, had an early mid-life crisis, and decided it all had to change. I went and did Logan Murray's comedy course for 11 weeks and then started sneakily doing open-spot gigs, and that was it.

I said three things when I woke up in Walter Reed. 'I love you.' 'Put me to work,' and 'You stink! Go shower!'

It wasn't like I just woke up and said, 'Here's my gimmick; I'll wear a hat and put something weird on it.'

I woke up and I just saw all these things, like 'RIP Skai Jackson,' and I'm like, 'Why do people think I'm dead? Like, what happened? Where did this come from?' And then one of my fans told me it was some girl who started it. And for me, that's just like not funny at all.