Quotes About Humor

We have two dogs, Mabel and Wolf, and three cats at home, Charlie, George and Chairman. We have two cats on our farm, Tom and Little Sister, two horses, and two mini horses, Hannah and Tricky. We also have two cows, Holy and Madonna. And those are only the animals we let sleep in our bed.

The best thing I can say about 'Teen Wolf Too' is that it's the only time anyone ever referred to me as Preston Sturges. Leonard Maltin wrote that 'Teen Wolf Too' made 'Teen Wolf' look like Preston Sturges. I've always prided myself on that.

Some people think having large breasts makes a woman stupid. Actually, it's quite the opposite: a woman having large breasts makes men stupid.

I like a woman with a head on her shoulders. I hate necks.

Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and give her a house.

I think the sexiest thing about a woman is confidence, but confidence in a humble way, not in an arrogant way. Sense of humor is definitely important. And sunglasses always hide a multitude of sins. Sunglasses and a great pair of heels can turn most outfits around.

I burp, I fart. I'm a real woman.

I will say that as I get older and calmer and quieter in my own self, the one quality in a woman that I find more and more attractive is kindness. A sense of adventure and humor is important too, but I truly find kindness and consideration for others to be the most attractive thing in anyone.

There are two ways to handle a woman, and nobody knows either of them.

I have an idea that the phrase 'weaker sex' was coined by some woman to disarm the man she was preparing to overwhelm.

It was a woman who drove me to drink, and I never had the courtesy to thank her for it.

He's the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of.

I have to deal with people in weird ways. I was walking down the street and this woman walks up to me and she goes, 'You know, I think it's so inspirational that you're out.' I was like, 'I'm on my way to the liquor store. Are you inspired?'

My ideal woman would be someone with both beauty and intelligence. Someone who can hold her own in a conversation, gets along with my family and respects elders, loves children, and have a sense of humour as whacky as mine.

I am essentially a middle-aged woman who likes making up weird snack combinations and galloping.

Show me one guy or woman as funny as Rodney Dangerfield or as good as George Carlin, Richard Pryor, Bill Cosby, or Joan Rivers. There are a lot of good comics out there, no doubt, but as far as the quality of the comics goes, I think what you have is a bunch of situational comics.

A woman who knows that she doesn't have to get all decked out to look good is sexy. A woman who can make you feel smart with her conversation skills is also sexy. I believe the sense of humor is important.

If I find something funny and make an older woman laugh, I love that for some reason.

You can be too pretty for comedy - man or woman.

Every sitcom needs their straight man or straight woman.

If the present Mrs. Wogan has a fault - and I must tread carefully here - if she has a fault, this gem in the diadem of womanhood is a hoarder. She never throws anything out. Which may explain the longevity of our marriage.

If we can't have comedy books written about aspects of womanhood without going into a panic attack about it, then we haven't got very far at being equal.

I fell out of the womb and landed in my mother's high heels.

When I came out of my mom's womb, I had 'sitcom' stamped on my forehead.