Quotes About Humor

When we pulled in, the customs officer looked in the back. The back of the wagon was filled with cases stenciled PINK FLOYD--LONDON. 'Got Pink Floyd in the back of the car, do you?' he asked. 'Righto, mate. We shrunk 'em and stuck 'em in fookin' boxes, we did,' said Nigel. Amazingly, the customs officer laughed and waved us through.

If a husband expresses a thought alone in the middle of the woods," so the joke goes, "is he still wrong?" Probably so.

I am sorry to say that there is too much point to the wisecrack that life is extinct on other planets because their scientists were more advanced than ours.

They were pals, he and God, and God was a good sport.

After a heated argument on some trivial matter Nancy Astor . shouted, If I were your wife I would put poison in your coffee Whereupon Winston Churchill answered, And if I were your husband I would drink it.

There are three things which are real God, human folly, and laughter. The first two are beyond our comprehension. So we must do what we can with the third.

I thought told you to watch where you put your feet," he said accusingly. Erak shrugged. I did," he replied ruefully. "But while I was busy watching the ground, I hit that branch with my head. Broke it clean in two." Halt raised his eyebrows. "I assume you're not talking about your head," he muttered. Erak frowned at the suggestion. Of course not," he replied. More's the pity," Halt told him.

Yes, I'm back," he said, "And look who I ran into." Horace grinned at him. "i hope you ran into him hard." "As hard as I could.

You're a very amusing fellow," he told Halt. "I'd like to brain you with my ax one of these days." Erak to Halt.

I will remember this word," he said. "Shenanigans. It is a good word.

Halt shook his head. Frankly, he'd seen sacks of potatoes that could sit a horse better than Erak

Will raised both eyebrows. 'Well, you learn a new thing everyday,' he said reflectively. 'In your case, that's no exaggeration,' Halt said, completely straight-faced.

But I wasn't happy... when I heard you two had assaulted Castle Macindaw with just thirty men,' [said Halt]. 'Thirty-three,' mumbled Horace... The Ranger gave him a withering look. 'Oh, pardon me... three more men does make a lot of difference.

Well I'm not dancing," Will said through gritted teeth. "I don't know how." Oh yes you are," Alyss told him. "Let's hope you're a fast learner." He glanced at her and saw no prospect of escape. "Well,at least I won't be the only one," he said. "Halt will be terrible too." But nobody in the assembly knew tat for the past ten days, Halt had been taking dance lessons from Lady Sandra.

Halt! How are you? What have you been doing? Where's Abelard? How's Crowley? What's this all about?" "I'm glad to see you rate my horse more important than our Corps Commandant," Halt said, one eyebrow rising in the expression that Will knew so well. Early in their relationship, he had thought it was an expression of displeasure. He had learned years ago that it was, for Halt, the equivalent of a smile.

You're dropping the bow hand as you release," he called, although Halt certainly wasn't. His mentor looked around, saw him, and replied pithily, "I believe your grandmother needs lessons in sucking eggs.

Have you seen them?" he asked. Arrow looked at him disinterestedly. Will frowned. Not talking, eh?" he said. "Maybe you're a little hoarse." He cackled breifly at his own wit.

Hal: "...Then we'll leave in a huff, taking you with us." "I've always wanted to travel in a huff," Ingvar mused. "It sounds very comfortable. I imagine they're well padded." "Lined with feathers, in fact," Gilan put in.

Does your friend ever say anything?' the fat man asked. Aloom set down the piece of bread he had just rolled round several chunks of meat and gave an exasperated sigh. 'I heard him say oops! once, when he cut the ears off someone who was asking too many questions.

I don't snore," Horace said, with dignity. Will raised his eyebrows."Is that so?" he said. "Then in that case, you'd better chase out that colony of walruses who are in the tent with you.

I said you were Sir Horace of the Order of the Oakleaf," Halt told him, then added uncertainly, "At least, I think that's what I told him. I may have said you were of the Order of the Oak Pancake." Horace

Farmers don't nap," he said. "Knights nap." "That's where we get the expression 'a good knight's sleep,'" Will said, smiling at his own wit. Halt turned a baleful eye on him. "Horace is right. You're not funny.

I think you're wonderful too, Hal!" Stephan said, in a workmanlike approximation of Ophelia's breathless, admiring tones. The crew laughed even harder. Lydia snorted through her nose.

Yes. A few weeks with people closer to his own age will do him good. After all, folk do say I can be a little grim from time to time." "You, Halt? Grim? Who could say such a thing?" Gilan said. Halt glanced at him suspiciously. Gilan was, all too obviously, just managing to keep a straight face. "You know, Gilan," He said, "sarcasm isn't the lowest form of wit. It's not even wit at all.