Quotes About Humor

Just kidding. That's really good, actually. I'm glad you weren't attacked by KillSims or Rodents of Unusual Size.

I know we're gathered here for a very solemn occasion. Poor Great-Uncle Frankie has gone the way of the dodo bird, soon to rot in peace. Um, I mean, rest in peace. - Dak

Are you guys done up there?" Aris yelled, still facing the other direction. "Yes!" Teresa called back. "And don't expect me to ever kiss you on the cheek again. I think my lips have a fungus now.

And of course Marc Cherry heightens it and makes it hilarious. But there's so many universal themes in the show, and he made it so funny. We knew he was onto something if he could keep it up and, thankfully, he did.

My dad was always snoozing on the couch, like Dagwood Bumstead. He was a lazy motherfucker. God bless him. He was always working on some kind of get-rich-quick scheme. This is what my dad was like: I'd say, Hey, Dad, we studied penguins today in school. He'd say, Yeah? I'm a penguin fucker from way back. Dad, I saw a giraffe at the zoo today. Yeah? I'm a giraffe fucker from way back. That's my dad. My dad was a giraffe fucker.

May love to drop things so you'll pick them up (which is indicative of a growing sense of object permanence — and a little sense of humor). Engages in

What did the Dalai Lama say when he got an electric shock? Ohm.

Why do statisticians never have friends? Because they're mean people.

Witzelsucht, in which patients compulsively share dreadful puns, facetious jokes, and socially inappropriate wisecracks.

It was to a moribund horse, and Mr. Sidlow, describing the treatment to date, announced that he had been pushing raw onions up the horse's rectum; he couldn't understand why it was so uneasy on its legs. Siegfried had pointed out that if he were to insert a raw onion in Mr. Sidlow's rectum, he, Mr. Sidlow, would undoubtedly be uneasy on his legs.

Why had I entered this profession? I could have gone in for something easier and gentler—like coalmining or lumberjacking.

a bullock, backing in alarm from the halter, crashed its craggy behind into my midriff. The wind shot out of me in a sharp hiccup, then the animal decided to turn round in the narrow passage, squashing me like a fly against the railings. I was pop-eyed as it scrambled round; I wondered whether the creaking was coming from my ribs or the wood behind me.

If there is a god, I think he has a sense of humour. He does not require human beings to protect him from satire.

A fart in the face is love.

Then he said the most extraordinary thing." "What?" "He said,'I've got a nice big juicy sausage for you.' Just like that." "Ah. The direct approach.

You've got haired," he said. "Must be that cold Scottish weather.

Even my dick was relaxing, and had fallen from the upright to the horizontal.

I'm over the hill for come-on lines. On a quiet day, I can hear my liver rotting. For exercise, I fall down.

Comedians don't laugh. They're too busy analyzing why it's funny or not.

Every man who is high up loves to think that he has done it all himself; and his wife smiles, and lets it go at that. It's our only joke. Every woman knows that.

You see, dear, it is not true that woman was made from man's rib; she was really made from his funny bone.

They shared a fondness for barbed humor and skill at using it to defuse stress. Each recognized the other as a master of this dangerous game, producing mutual respect.

So be joyful. Use your sense of humor. And laugh with the God who smiles when seeing you, rejoices over your very existence, and takes delight in you, all the days of your life.

When things go awry, if they are mostly an inconvenience to you or a threat to your ego, instead of getting furious, can you laugh? Sometimes the even the best-laid plans, the most carefully planned events can turn out quite differently than planned.