Quotes About Humor

The Duke of Grumareth was always a fool and will always be a fool," Shevraeth said, so lightly it was hard to believe he wasn't joking.

I'm sorry we're late, but somebody decided to step in a fresh horse plop and needed a bath." He turned a mock-solemn glare at the smaller child. Crystal Ingrid looked away in the manner of a four-year-old who thinks that if she doesn't see trouble, it's not there.

So. Are you going to see him again? Technically, I haven't seen him at all . . . (Heroine is blind - LOL)

Across the room, Nia said with a smirk, "Look at Tinkerbell going all mama-bear." Hope snapped, "Oh, shove the Tinkerbell crap up your ass." For about two seconds, Nia just stared at her. Then she started to laugh.

God didn't make Eve from Adam's rib. He took out half of Adam's brain by accident.

even opened the box?" She parked her fists on her trim little hips. "I have had a very bad day." "Well, so have I." He grinned. "But you just made me laugh, so it's starting to improve." She gave him a glare. "I don't find this funny." He raised the can

The person who knows how to laugh at himself will never cease to be amused.

Tell me yourself—rather than suffering because of daughters, as Tevye has, is it not a thousand times better to lie in the ground and bake bagels?

Hello." "Hello yourself. Where you from?" "From hunger!

But as you can see, I'm as hale and hearty as ever, may it continue that way. Except for that one scar on my face, my shortness of breath, and the constant twitch in my eyes, I'm in perfect shape.

What do you put into the shoes to make them squeak?" "Oh, squeaks?" said Karpe. "Sugar makes them squeak.

Eleven kids from three wives, may no harm come to them, is nothing to sneeze at!

Everything was one big joke. There are people like that, you know. Not many, but they're around. It's my luck that their path had to cross mine.

It looks like doctors prescribe what they themselves enjoy doing. I'm surprised they haven't told me to start swallowing rubles yet.

Madness— that's more up your alley. You're married. I don't dare go meshugge

It's nothing to sneeze at—a soup made out of gizzards

You know what, Pan Sholem Aleichem? Let's talk about something more cheerful. Have you heard any news of the cholera in Odessa?

My brother-in-law—may my life be as long as his was short!—has died of the toothache. Of course, his health wasn't too good before that.

I weep to think of all the tricks you've played on me since I've had you for a husband …and now, as if all that weren't enough, you decide to become a circus clown. A penny-a-liner! And to think there are even worse fools than you who will pay to read what you write!

We helped ourselves to a drop of vishniak, had some more marmalade, and made small talk. What about? Don't ask me.

Then she gave him a few good smacks in the face. These he accepted like a philosopher.

I've been drinking goat's milk and went to see the doctor. Quite a living they make from me, the doctors! They should all drop dead and take the pharmacist with them.

My friend Mendl and I once ate three haht dawgz apiece and could have polished off a few more if we had the cash …but that's not what I wanted to tell you.

But a comedian is naked. His only weapon was his wit.