Quotes About Humor

Irony has seeped into the felt of any fedora hat I have ever owned - not out of any wish of mine, but out of necessity. A fedora hat worn by me without the necessary protective irony would eat through my head and kill me.

I used to sort of consider myself a feminist, an environmentalist, and I still have some of that in me, but I've done so many offensive comedies, I'm now worn down to a little nub of... nub of an activist.

I myself used to do absurd things. Yes, I mean that. I had to have a laugh, and some of the things were absurd. But they could always be worn by an elegant woman; they did not negate her elegance.

If I ever write a book, 'I Should Have Worn Comfortable Shoes' would be the title.

I've had so many horrible things happen in my life since I did 'Home Improvement' that it's worried me about doing comedy because - how do I say this - I'm a much darker person than I was.

If I don't get food in my mouth, I'm still happy. If my pants are round my ankles, as long as I don't get arrested for indecent exposure, I'm happy. I'm worried about keeping my hair, not how it's combed.

I'm not on Twitter because I'm worried I'd be really dull, which would be tragic for someone who's supposed to be funny.

Why should I be worried about dying? It's not going to happen in my lifetime!

I think it's great training for any comedian to start on cows. Because with cows, you expect them to be bored and just stare at you blankly. And that's exactly what you'll get at a comedy club. If you can toughen up with a cow audience, then you'll never be worried with a human audience.

My job is trying to make people laugh. A room full of people laughing forget their worries, their issues, that's why I find it so joyful.

Don't worry, I'm hilarious.

There seems to be no lengths to which humorless people will not go to analyze humor. It seems to worry them.

I don't need to worry about identity theft because no one wants to be me.

You shouldn't worry who gets the funny line, just that you're being funny as a double act. With us, it flips all the time. There's no real straight man or funny man.

Still when I go on talk shows, I worry that I have to live up to a comedic persona.

I told my therapist I was having nightmares about nuclear explosions. He said don't worry it's not the end of the world.

I'm not good at anything except writing jokes. I wasn't good at sports, I wasn't good at anything artsy, ever. I think there was a real worry for a while about what I would be good at. I was just this chubby little Indian kid who looked like a nerd.

To me, comedy is a great occupation because I don't really worry that much about what other people think of me.

I never worry about people not taking my work seriously as a result of the humor. In the end, the comic's best trick is the illusion that comedy is effortless. That people imagine what he's doing is easy is an occupational hazard.

My failed corporate career became the fodder for the 'Dilbert' comic. Once it became clear I would not be climbing any higher on the corporate ladder, it freed me to mock managers without worrying that it would stall my career. Most failures create some sort of unplanned freedom. I took full advantage of mine.

I'm not so funny. Gilda was funny. I'm funny on camera sometimes. In life, once in a while. Once in a while. But she was funny. She spent more time worrying about being liked than anything else.

I'm a bit of a worrier, to an extreme. I'll crack a joke, then worry if I've offended someone - even when they're laughing. I have a guilt complex, always worrying.

I don't spend my hours worrying how to slip a social message into my act.

There is nothing bad about this job. Comedians have nothing to complain about. That doesn't mean I'm not constantly moaning and worrying.