Quotes About Humor

A good jolly is worth what you pay for it.

My husband gave me a necklace. It's fake. I requested fake. Maybe I'm paranoid, but in this day and age, I don't want something around my neck that's worth more than my head.

Little pieces of advice like that can provide us with months' worth of entertainment.

I've developed a fun text when a friend has just had a baby. I ask a classic question: 'Are you sleeping?' The reply is inevitably that they aren't, they're getting a few hours here and there, they're exhausted. It's then when I swoop in: 'It'll all be worth it when they're softly stroking your hair as you slip into oblivion.'

I'm on a mission. If I can make even one person not enjoy something they're currently enjoying, it's all worth it!

'Billy on the Street' is a very exhausting show to do, as you can imagine, but it's worth it.

Comedy is not good for anything, really. Apart from being one of the only things that makes life worth living.

I never realized how similar that I am to Tom Brady. mean, the obvious physical appearance would be the first thing. The fact that he's married to a supermodel? Hello? Yeah, I'm also married to a supermodel.

I can consciously say I like squashing things because I saw 'Tom and Jerry' films or Charlie Chaplin in 'Modern Times.' That's true.

If I had the gift of Jerry Seinfeld, of Bill Cosby, of Lewis Black, these instinctively brilliant comic minds, then you go that route! But you gotta know your limitations. I'm more of an actor, more of a process guy. I did Tom Snyder, just as Danny Aykroyd did on 'SNL.' I did it in the club.

Tom Cruise's attorney said he is going to sue anyone who claims he is gay. In a related story, Ricky Martin's attorney has been hospitalized for exhaustion.

If I book a table at a pub, or I've got an appointment at an optician's or something, I'll walk in and I'll say, 'This is Tom Jones here,' And they'll go 'Awww, I thought it was gonna be him.' They think it's gonna be the real guy. I've been ridiculed a lot throughout my life for it.

My take on 'Lucifer' was pretty much laid down by Tom Kapinos when he wrote the original pilot script for it. I remember reading it for the first time, and I was about four or five pages in, thinking this is so funny, and I know how I would want to do this if I was going to do it.

In terms of sheer pleasure, Tom Stoppard was very big for me because he is so funny and so smart, and it felt delicious reading him.

I started doing comedy when I was a teenager with Tom Kenny, who is the voice of SpongeBob. I don't want to name drop, but, I've known him since I was 6.

Tom Brady should be a heartbeat away from the presidency, and that heartbeat should be mine.

I'd say Bill Bixby's character in 'Beantown' is Tom Brokaw with a heart and a sense of humor.

I wouldn't want to be married to me, but luckily Tom Cruise does.

I cannot be Mary Hart - or even worse, Samantha Harris - and stand there with my hip out talking about Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes taking Suri to an art museum without making fun of it.

Standing in front of our hallway mirror, I am practising a few poses - one leg artfully bent, the opposite shoulder up - when the man of the house strides in and decides to share: a) I look like I have dislocated my shoulder and b) Has anyone ever told me I strongly resemble Tom Cruise?

Kermit was the Everyman, the original Tom Hanks, but I have a special place in my heart for Fozzie Bear. The classic borderline hacky entertainer.

I don't really have aspirations to be Tom Hanks.

When I was in kindergarten, I had one line in a little play. I said, I am Patrick Potato and this is my cousin, Mrs. Tomato, and I heard laughter. I wanted to be an actress from that moment on.

I once tried to raise two tomato plants, and they died in spite of the fact I fertilized them every morning. Duh.