Quotes About Humor

That's the one for my tombstone... Here lies David Byrne. Why the big suit?

I don't want a tombstone. You could carve on it 'She never actually wanted a tombstone.'

It will be written on my tombstone in very large letters, 'Here lies Hikaru Sulu,' and in very tiny letters, 'aka George Takei.' I don't protest the inevitable.

Performers like Tommy Cooper, who are always getting things wrong, are much more endearing than comedians who are sassy and smart.

I once told Tommy Smothers, 'If I could just get the money and the women straightened out, the rest of my life would be easy.'

I never craved having people leave a show saying, 'He's really intelligent, isn't he?' I didn't watch Tommy Cooper and think, 'Oh, he's so bright.' He just made me laugh.

The quest for Tommy Lee Jones' laugh begins now.

If you were on the phone with me and Tommy right now, we would probably forget you were there, we'd just be cracking jokes. It's like Beavis and Butthead.

The reason I wrote 'You Suck' was that I so enjoyed spending time with Tommy and Jody.

Craig McDean was probably one of the first people I shot with. I shot with him for years with Tommy Hilfiger and a few other jobs. He's just so nice and just a super normal, funny guy.

Tommy Tiernan is an Irish comic who I believe is one of the finest in the world.

Tommy Chong is one of my favorite celebrities of all time.

I literally went down to my car and thought, 'Oh my God, SAP bought Concur - maybe tomorrow they'll buy Dairy Queen.' It was the best thing that happened to me on the day I was named CEO of Oracle.

There have been times when I felt suicidal and I would stop my head from going in that direction of negativity because I thought there'd be something I'd miss that was funny in the future. If there's a chance I'm going to laugh tomorrow then want to live to experience that.

People laugh at me because I don't even know what I'm doing tomorrow.

Racial humor was about 35% of my act when I first started. But I realized that it was a crutch. What brought it home was when another comedian said to me, 'If you changed color tomorrow, you wouldn't have any material.' He meant it as a put-down, but I took it as a challenge.

I get a ton of scam emails. But instead of deleting them, I decided to hit reply.

I want to see a ton more comedy for women.

I'm a military brat, so I moved around a ton. When you're making friends and you're funny, it makes that easier.

I love being a part of a romantic comedy. I've done a lot of comedies but haven't always had a ton of romance in them.

I've been watching a ton of Ali Wong on Netflix. I love everything she does - there's a fearlessness about her.

When you're a dad, there's a ton of material there with your family.

He has such a patronizing tone and manner, and such a sarcastic sense of humor. I found him rather brutal, a kind of elegant brutality which appealed. No, I think he came pretty much off the page.

I think one of my first jokes - in the black community, there's people who have jokes about skin tone. People like, 'You so black, you purple.' 'You so black, you gotta smile so we can see you at night.'