Quotes About Humor

At my confirmation, where you get the Holy Spirit, I came down the stairs at my party and had torn, like, 80 holes in my pantyhose and said I had the Holy Spirit, and just would do things like that all the time.

Democrats are like a big tortoise that's on its back and can't get up; you can't make jokes about that.

I'm very ticklish. They say being tickled is a form of torture.

But even if you're not a 'Scrubs' follower you'll still have a good time, because all the songs are recognizable and presented in a way that's unique to The Blanks. We had heard that in some countries a cappella is considered torture, so we wanted to make a show that we'd really want to see as well - so it's music but it's also a lot of comedy.

When I started, I wanted to be thought of as tortured and seductive, not funny, but humor tends to be a reflexive part of a person's sensibility. It's an almost impossible thing to teach anyone, which leads me to believe that it's intuitive.

My brother and I tortured my mother growing up.

If you are funny, people will like you. A lot of advertising is based on this simple rule. The Tory MP Boris Johnson has benefited a lot from it.

Unfunny people should be locked up, the key tossed into a smelter.

The total absence of humor from the Bible is one of the most singular things in all literature.

In two decades I've lost a total of 789 pounds. I should be hanging from a charm bracelet.

Once I became a total buffoon, it was so liberating.

Nothing is so perfectly amusing as a total change of ideas.

If you look at the game and everything, it's not quite like looking at an animated film, because that's total character. This, this is really movement, but it's got funny little things if you look for the humor. They're actually getting to the character.

The person I have admired the most in comedy terms would be Eric Morecambe, who is my total hero.

I was a total dork in high school.

My two big date deal breakers are someone with no sense of humor and someone who chews badly. I will never be with someone who never laughs or someone who chews disgustingly, so if either of those things are detected on a date - it's a total deal breaker.

If comedians were truly free of repression, there would not be an inherent need to perform for the love of a roomful of total strangers.

I totally have the ability to laugh at myself. I don't think one should take oneself seriously, ever. As long as you are not hurting my sentiments by revealing personal details or talking badly about my family, I'm absolutely fine.

It's painful for me to watch someone who isn't funny. It's horrifying to sit in the back and watch some guy who just totally sucks.

Some people say, 'Oh, you look just like the guy from 'Stranger Things.' And I'm like, 'I am the guy.' And they think I'm totally joking.

Very few things are totally devoid of any possibility of humor. If you are aware of that possibility and alive to the scene becoming that way, then it just happens naturally. That's what I feel living is like, too. I find a lot of things that make me smile or make me laugh over the course of the day.

I wouldn't totally rule out doing Letterman or the Tonight Show if I had a set that I just happened to write that I thought was funny but was still appropriate for network censors. But I'm not going to go out of my way.

A police officer pulls over Werner Heisenberg for speeding. "Do you know how fast you were going?" asks the cop. "No," Heisenberg replies. "But I know exactly where I am." I think we can all agree that physics jokes are the funniest jokes there are.

Laughter kills fear, and without fear there can be no faith. For without fear of the devil there is no need for God.