Quotes About Humor

Listen, haircut...' Did you just call me haircut ?' he asked. Yes. You know there's no reason we can't go online. It's crazy.' Why'd you call me haircut?' he asked, touching his hair. 'Is it because I have a great haircut?' You figure it out,' she answered. -Clio and Aiden, Girl At Sea by Maureen Johnson

I sleep better knowing that a naked cork-eater is not sneaking around at night, stealing my underwear.

Top Trumps appeared to be a game in which you got cards, and the cards had a picture (in this case, of a horse), and told you all kinds of stats for that horse, how fast it was, how big it was, etc. Whoever had the better horse won both the cards. You repeated this until someone had all the cards. So, basically it was exactly like high school, except it only took three minutes. Which was really a bit more humane, if you thought about it.

You don't know me yet, I said. Rory was telling me she lives in a swamp, Charlotte said. That's right, I said, turning up my accent a little. These are the very first shoes I've ever owned. They sure do pinch my feet. Jerome gave a little snort.

I'm still going to eat a lot of tacos," Nate said. "But I'm going to do it judgmentally

Irony is the word I forget the meaning of immediately after I look it up, but I kind of feel like I live in a constant state of it.

What are you? I asked. I'm the Ghost of the Night Before Exams. And how long did it take you to come up with that? Jazza asked. I'm a busy man, he replied.

One of them hung a pink bra from our lighting fixture. I left it there. It was a nice bra

It's us, Stephen said. Oh, thank God, said a voice. Callum emerged from behind the Dumpster. Even with all that was going on, it was hard not to take notice of this: he wore only his underpants and his socks and shoes. ...I don't think I hid my staring very well either. Go ahead and change, Stephen said, handing me the bag. I'll go and get the car. Please be quick, Callum added. This is not as fun as it appears.

We heard her come halfway up the stairs, where she must have seen the bedroom light on. Again, the normal parent reaction would have been to say something like, You had better come out this moment or I am releasing the tiger! But Debbie was not a normal parent, so we heard her gigle and creep away, saying, Shhh! Rachel! Come with Mommy! Stuart is busy!

It turns out I'm really good at this stuff. I always believed in you, Stevie said. Did you? No, Stevie said. But you have a nice ass, so I let you slide. They smiled at each other from a thousand miles away. Stevie had never felt closer to him.

I like to look nice when I go to see His Majesty, the Burger King.

Annoy a Southerner and we will drain away the moments of your life with our slow, detailed replies until you are nothing but a husk of your former self and that much closer to death.

If Gertie van Coevorden had two brain cells, each would be amazed to know of the other's existence.

You know, the best fanfic I ever read was an erotic story about Thor and Tony Stark living together on a Christmas tree sex farm.

That's what she gets, if she gets anything at all, Stevie said. All of this starts in late May and goes on through June. What dose this suggest? Morning sickness, Nate said, his eyes widening. Morning sickness, Stevie replied, smiling. You terrify me, Nate said quietly.

God," I said. "Why are all guys so easy like that?

Let it snow and snow and bury me. Very funny, Life.

Never get stabbed- it makes everything awkward.

But here I was,quasi-boyfriend saying he wanted to take me on an actual date, and I was just staring at him impassively, like a horse watching a mime pretending to walk against the wind.

The bones were on the table, naked and chalky. The eye sockets hollow, the mouth in a loose grimace, as if to say. Yep, it's me. Bet you're wondering how I ended up here. It's a funny story actually....

The universe paid me in moose

Day or two. Got a bunch of it from The West Wing. That was the only show I was never allowed to watch when I was a kid, so it's my favorite. I wonder who my dad will have as VP if he gets into the White House? I'm rooting for a cloud of bats. What about you, Stevie? You know him better than I do.

The inexplicable is always terrifying. But it wouldn't be so frightening if you stopped to ask yourself whether there's ever been any reason why you should have been at the top... Oh, come, Peter, smile, I'm only kidding. One loses everything when one loses one's sense of humor.