Quotes About Humor

Every barbershop has a guy who wrecks shop every time he comes in. He has the whole barbershop laughing. That doesn't mean he's a comedian.

I watch 'The Bachelor'. It's one of those things where I always think if it didn't exist and it was on 'SNL,' we would think it would be a ridiculous, funny idea. But it actually exists... It's a glorious train wreck that I love to watch.

Let's Wrestle would rather poke fun than point fingers, even if there's a problem that needs fixing.

I like to think, personally, that Shaq got scared. He saw the six-pack and realized if he faced me at WrestleMania, he was going to be Fat Shaq.

I could fall in love with a sumo wrestler if he told stories and made me laugh. Obviously, it would be easier if someone was African-American and lived next door and went to the same church. Because then I wouldn't have to translate.

I could totally see myself limping down the aisle when I'm 60, jumping off the top rope and breaking my hip. I could be a hilarious geriatric wrestler.

There's so many great wrestlers in this sport who could probably work circles around me and it's amazing to see that, but I love being the kind of character who can take you on a roller coaster, make you smile and laugh.

If I ever get to meet Vladimir Putin, I will probably take my top off and challenge him to an erotically charged wrestling match, which I will let him win.

Wrestling was like stand-up comedy for me. Every night I had a live audience of 25,000 people to win over. My goal was never to be the loudest or the craziest. It was to be the most entertaining.

Wrestling was like stand-up comedy for me.

That was sort of the 'Second City' approach, which was try to be intelligent and assume your audience is intelligent. We were influenced by 'Monty Python,' too, which would have philosophers in a wrestling match.

To be a true comic, you have to have a signature move. You ever watch wrestling? And your favorite wrestler has the one move that he always does to finish his opponent off, right? Like when he climbs on the rope, and he always jumps off the top rope and finishes off his opponent - that's what a comic has.

I was heavily influenced by Andy Kaufman and Steven Wright.

Steven Wright can do Steven Wright very well. Not everyone can do Steven Wright's jokes with the same results.

I loved Stephen Wright, and I loved Mitch Hedberg, but they seemed like geniuses you could never emulate. You'd just be ripping them off.

I've read that Steven Wright's style was born out of genuine nervousness.

In 2013, I had to do 'The Wright Stuff' on about an hour's sleep. I was asked, 'What do you make of the situation in Mali?' and I said, 'Well, I've not seen the film but I know the dog dies in the end.' They were talking about the civil war, and the whole audience took an inward breath. I thought, 'Should I not have revealed the end of the film?'

Some of my biggest influences are people like Steven Wright and Todd Berry. I'm a shy person, and I don't think people who aspire to do comedy think that's an option.

Wrinkles are hereditary. Parents get them from their children.

My face hasn't matured as I've grown up, and neither has my sense of humour. In the mirror, I see an older version of myself as a child, although I do have more wrinkles and freckles.

I broke my wrist on TV trying to do a one-armed push-up. A lot of people delight in pointing this out to me.

It is difficult not to write satire.

I think if everyone would write down the funny stories from their own childhoods, the world would be a better place.

I would write 100 jokes a day. Most of them were terrible. But I just said, 'I'll write more than everybody else, and that's how I'll get better.'