Quotes About Drunk

The penis, when you pull the underwear down, it's like a drunk friend just falling out of a car. —Jo Koy

I'm in no condition to drive...wait! I shouldn't listen to myself, I'm drunk!

I'm a mischievous drunk.

All I wanted for Christmas was a New Years Eve party that I would never forget. Too bad I got too drunk to remember it.

I can't believe he didn't have the dignity and presence of mind just to get drunk and pass out in some gutter, " said Jace. "I must say, I'm disappointed in the little fellow.

I beg your pardon I am drunk without a drink. English wine & words are vulnerable to every man.

Yes, madam, I am drunk. But in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.

There is a story of a man on all fours under a street lamp, searching for something. A policeman passing by asked what he was doing. "Looking for my car keys," replied the man, who appeared slightly drunk. "Did you drop them here?" inquired the officer. "No," answered the man, "I dropped them in the alley." Seeing the policeman's baffled expression, the man hastened to explain, "But the light is much better here.

It was like a Russian party, Arkady thought. People got drunk, recklessly confessed their love, spilled their festering dislike, had hysterics, marched out, were dragged back in and revived with brandy. It wasn't a French salon.

A reader is nice, and it's portable. It's a marvelous invention. Buying books for the paper is like buying beer for the bottles. It's what's inside that gets you drunk!

For I am ashamed of and annoyed by my exceedingly disgraceful lack of faith amid such a wealth of promises by which we have been overwhelmed and made drunk, when I consider and see that the saintly fathers had such great faith in promises not yet fulfilled.

I am in the zone, the perfect balance between manic and drunk, I am mellow, I'm cool, cool as cats. I've found the answer, the thing that takes the edge off, smoothes out the madness, sends me sailing, lifts me up and lets me fly.

Even drunk, I knew any escape plan that involved going to Detroit, Michigan, was a harbinger of doom.

I realized that if getting drunk was how people forgot they were mortal, then hangovers were how they remembered

He repeated that the texting driver faces a sixfold crash risk, whereas a driver talking on the phone faced a four-times increase in likelihood of a crash, which he said was roughly equivalent to someone who is legally drunk. A drunk driver and a person on a phone were equally likely to crash, whereas "we're seeing the risk factor for accidents when someone is texting exceeds the level when people are legally drunk.

Zigzag... don't bunch up. Weave like a drunk on New Year's... Got it?

What if she'd turned down the lightly flung invitation and went about her life, thudding obliviously along like a drunk person, a blind person, a moron, someone who thinks that the small packet of happiness she carries is enough.

I know that," he said. "But what are you doing? You're giving me an actor playing a drunk. I'm paying you to be a drunk. You're trying to talk slurred and walk crooked. A real drunk is trying to speak clearly and walk straight." My wise and wily repertory theatre director had summed up movie acting in one line, and I remember it and use it to this day. My

Drunk, Jane spoke as though she were Nancy Drew. I was a fool for a girl with a dainty lexicon.

Most of the guys were drunk, checking out the teenage girls in their crotch-defying dresses and fuck-me heels. I feel sorry for hookers these days - how do they stand out any more?

Yesterday, I was in Hatchards, and I saw a photograph of it, the usual view from Darjeeling. Everything flooded back. The cold. The silence. The dread. It was so overwhelming that I staggered outside and vomited in the gutter. People thought I was drunk.

the robbers could have been drunk, or alienated beyond the reach of reason, and then he might have been seriously hurt. But the point is still valid: human relations are malleable, and if a person has the appropriate skills their rules can be transformed.

How do you know when you are too drunk to drive? When you swerve to miss a tree then realize it was your air-freshener.

There's one thing that troubles me, my friends. It isn't right for us to drown ourselves at night, after supper. People will say we did it because we were drunk. We shall go to bed now and sleep till morning, and at ten o'clock, washed and dressed properly, with proudly lifted heads, we shall walk to the river, so that everybody will see that we drowned ourselves like true philosophers.