Quotes About Philosophy

Sometimes I... No, I don't.

All men are born with a nose and ten fingers, but no one was born with a knowledge of God.

There are two Newman's laws. The first one is "It is useless to put on your brakes when you're upside down." The second is "Just when things look darkest, they go black.

What year did Jesus think it was?

All cows were like other cows, all tigers like all other tigers - What on earth happened to human beings?

Unfortunately for a multitude of occultists, humor is a rare ingredient in their lives. In fact it is their very lack of humor that has impelled them into the arcane and esoteric.

Ultimate seriousness in not without a dose of humor.

Yesterday I was a dog. Today I'm a dog. Tomorrow I'll probably still be a dog. Sigh! There's so little hope for advancement.

Absolute seriousness is never without a dash of humor.

There is a foolish corner in the brain of the wisest man.

I firmly believe that if the whole material medica, as now used, could be sunk to the bottom of the sea, it would be better for mankind-and all the worse for the fishes.

How can I die? I'm booked.

If you had a million Shakespeares, could they write like a monkey?

I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.

I always pass on good advice. It is the only thing to do with it. It is never of any use to oneself.

Life is tough, then you die.

I have a great mind to believe in Christianity for the mere pleasure of fancying I may be damned.

You know, Freud accepted his lot very stoically and very well and with a sense of humor. He aged and died gracefully, and there's a lot to be said for that.

I get mail; therefore I am.

When will all the rhetorical questions end?

The only laws are paradox, humor and change.

I'm rather relaxed about death. From quite an early age I've regarded it as part of the deal, the unwritten guarantee that comes with your birth certificate.

By his provocations to good-natured merriment, a humorist of the first water contributes as much to the sum of happiness as the gravest philosopher.

I'm happy to tell you there is very little in this world that I believe in.