Quotes About Religion

Whoever wants to be a Christian should tear the eyes out of his reason.

I have a great mind to believe in Christianity for the mere pleasure of fancying I may be damned.

See? This is why I'm not religious. I couldn't possibly keep my mouth shut long enough to get along with everyone else.

I believe in eight of the ten commandments. I believe in going to church every Sunday... unless there's a game on.

A lot of people like cats. Take the Pope, for example: I read recently that he was a cat-oholic!

All Dogs Go To Heaven? Sorry, kids. It's only the dogs who've accepted Christ.

Humor (is) intrinsitc to Christianity.

You see my next door neighbour worships exhaust pipes, he's a catholic converter.

There were many reasons we broke up. There was a religious difference: I'm a Catholic, and she's the devil.

We get to see it! January 1st, 2000! We get to see... all those fundamentalist preachers having to do their backpedaling when the Armageddon doesn't occur.

If Jesus was a Jew, how come he has a Mexican first name?

Somebody figured it out- we have 35 million laws trying to enforce Ten Commandments.

Thou shalt not submit thy god to market forces.

They're always going, don't deal with terrorists. Let's deal with them. What's Allah offering you boys, 100 virgins? We'll give you 50 slags.

Our new faith-based laws have removed government as a roadblock to people of faith who hear the call.

After all, religion has been around a lot longer than Darwinism.

Our priorities is our faith.

No new sect ever had humor; no disciples either, even the disciples of Christ.

"God save our gracious Queen": Why would we invoke a non-specific deity to bail out these unelected spongers?

To be a Christian, you must pluck out the eye of reason.

I used to be Irish Catholic. Now I'm an American - you know, you grow.

Zen is non-serious. Zen has a tremendous sense of humor. No other religion has evolved so much that it can have that sense of humor.

Tell people there's an invisible man in the sky who created the universe, and the vast majority will believe you. Tell them the paint is wet, and they have to touch it to be sure.

I don't know about you, but I practice a disorganized religion. I belong to an unholy disorder. We call ourselves "Our Lady of the Perpetual Astonishment