Quotes About Joke

Sometimes, magic is like that. It lands on your head like a piano, a stupid, ancient, unfunny joke, and you spend the rest of your life picking sharps and flats out of your hair.

It's my own little joke, even though the punchline is sadness. I think a joke like that is a present you make to yourself, so every time you say it, even if it hurts, you get a very cohesive feeling out of it, because the past you and the present you are talking to each other, and it's nice to have friends.

And when funny things happen, you just have to go along, don't you? Because they might never happen again and you'll have missed the joke of it, missed the fun, and then when you're old and your kittens ask you what you did when the world had its glad rags on, you won't have nothing to say, will you?

Laughing is peculiar to man, but all men do not laugh for the same reason. There is the attic salt which springs from the charm in the words, from the flash of wit, from the spirited and brilliant sally. There is the low joke which arises from scurrility and idle conceit.

Why did the programmer cross the road? To get coffee — why else would one be outside?

When a cow laughs, does milk come out her nose?

Smiling amiably, the San Angelo man said: "If you do have to explain it, why not use the old joke? Man asked a rancher in the Fort Stockton area: 'Caleb, your six boys are all good Democrats, I hope?' and Caleb said: 'Yep, all but Elmer. He learned to read.

On 'Adam Ruins Everything' we do the broadest sketch comedy possible. We do stuff where you can see it immediately and know it's a joke - characters in big silly costumes; here's Uncle Sam and he's twiddling his fingers saying, 'Oh, I'm naughty.'

I don't really believe in lucky things, but I wear lucky underwear as a joke.

I receive underwear - some clean, some not. No joke. My assistant who helps me with my fan mail constantly threatens to quit because of what we get sent.

This is a youth-oriented society, and the joke is on them because youth is a disease from which we all recover.

Three women walk into a pub and say, 'Hooray, we've colonised a male-dominated joke format'

"My only problem with women breastfeeding in public is they never wink back." It's kind of the perfect joke because it's a bait and switch.

The best timed joke or the best timed phrase comes at spontaneous moments and just relies on me as the host to be very quick, and that's what I do.

I couldn't deliver a joke if you asked me to. It would have to be live and spontaneous. And that's what I was able to have in New York, at 9 o'clock in the morning, and people all over the country seemed to respond to it.

My mother tells this joke about how when I was little I used to say, 'Mummy, all I want is a stable home!' and she'd reply, 'That's all right, darling, we'll buy you a stable.'

I guess my feeling is is that if you're going to make a joke, that's fine, but you should also sort of stand behind it, you know? A joke should be more than a joke, it should be a point that you're trying to make.

I'm actually into the idea of doing stand-up comedy, as a joke. You know how people do karaoke for fun? Well it would sort of be like that.

There is a standard joke in the family. Probably we should go into selling second-hand shoes.

This man's wife told him, "For Christmas, surprise me." On Christmas Eve he leaned over where she was sleeping and said, "Boo!"

Racing is bulging at the seams with pure nutball characters, men who can drink more, screw more, fight more, laugh more, joke more, than practically any collection of people in the world.

She can be Mary Poppins but she can also be - I would never use the word 'crude' in the same sentence as Julie Andrews because she is so fine and beautiful - but she can be naughty and she doesn't mind a good joke.

As a kid, I drew comics. I had curly hair. I liked to joke, but I was kind of nervous about it at first until it was coaxed out of me.

The joke newspaper, it says Canada abandons the monarchy.