Quotes About Joke

My life motto is basically to lower your standards and expectations so you're never disappointed and never put any trust in anything, and I try to prepare for the day that I wake up, and everyone I know is like, 'LOL JK best long-running practical joke ever', so I've never really let myself freak out or get too excited about anything.

But Jimmy sees life as an opportunity and happiness as a choice. He's cheery in the morning. He wakes up happy. He gets the joke of life.

There's a joke that I do where I make fun of myself for being bow-legged, and I compare myself to a camel and how a camel walks and sits, and that has become a joke that people - when I deliver that joke, people are in tears.

One day I'll bring a biography of my life out and that will be the biggest joke I'll ever tell.

I think as a blonde person with make-up on, you're automatically the punchline to the joke.

Humor has been a major component in our past successes; a good joke and a good product combined can get a lot of people talking.

We always joke about how I'm on the road and they'll be like, 'Man, you need to take a shower.' Nah, it ain't Saturday. It ain't Sunday. I take a shower once a month. Nah, it ain't that bad. You know, baby ain't gonna handle that. My wife is not gon' handle that. She's not gon' have me walking about the house stankin'.

Wasn't there an old joke about the wife who talked so much on the telephone that her desperate husband ran out to the nearest store and telephoned her to ask what was for dinner?

Major Major's father had a good joke about opportunity. Opportunity only knocks once in this world, he would say. Major Major's father repeated this good joke at every opportunity.

Major Major's father was a sober God-fearing man whose idea of a good joke was to lie about his age. He was a long-limbed farmer, a God-fearing, freedom-loving, law-abiding rugged individualist who held that federal aid to anyone but farmers was creeping socialism. He advocated thrift and hard work and disapproved of loose women who turned him down.

Major Major's father was a sober God-fearing man whose idea of a good joke was to lie about his age. He was a long-limbed farmer, a God-fearing, freedom-loving, law-abiding rugged individualist who held that federal aid to anyone but farmers was creeping socialism. He advocated thrift and hard work and disapproved of loose women who turned him down.

What do you call a rifle with three barrels? A trifle.

In her behavior Mrs. S——was youthful and loud-talking which made us uneasy, for children are not comfortable when adults behave as if they are not adults. Often it seemed that Mrs. S——was winking at us as if there was some joke between her and us, unexplained.

Wayne All I have to say about that is asphinctersayswhat. Arcade owner What Wayne Exactly.

Did Thomas the boring slinthead actually make a joke?

Now you know what bloody lurks in the Maze, my friend. Now you know this isn't joke time. You've been sent to the Glade, Greenie, and we'll be expectin' ya to survive and help us do what we've been sent here to do.

information about the action. Then, over the command

The hoary joke in the literary world, based on 'Dreams From My Father ' was that if things had worked out differently for Barack Obama, he could have made it as a writer.

I joke, mademoiselle," he said, "and I laugh. But there are some things that are no joke. There are things that my profession has taught me. And one of these things, the most terrible thing, is this: murder is a habit...

Because of his face." "His face? But—" "Yes, I know what you're going to say. It's a sinister face. That's just it. No man with a face like that could be really sinister. It must be a colossal joke on the part of Nature.

If you people only knew how fatally easy it is to poison someone by mistake, you wouldn't joke about it.

If you people only knew how fatally easy it is to poison someone by mistake, you wouldn't joke about it." -- Cynthia Murdoch

I watched Harry closely as he read the joke and then… burst out laughing. In fact, he started shaking with laughter. It was a surreal moment, sitting nervously with my consultants, watching Harry Reid convulse in hysterics over the idea of Anne Frank playing drums in the attic. Finally, he turned to me. I just shrugged.

said. "For these guys, too. Just kidding. I