Quotes About Joke

The last man that makes a joke owns it.

If I was a locksmith, I'd be pimping that out man. I'll trade you a free key duplication for. That joke made me laugh before I could finish it, which is good, because it had no ending.

I've made a lot of grown men cry with laughter, because I really am quite the joke.

The wisest and the best of men, nay, the wisest and best of their actions, may be rendered ridiculous by a person whose first object in life is a joke.

If men have a smell it's usually an accident.

Almost every venerable tradition at a men's club starts out as a joke.

Contrary to reports, this boy is not a billionaire or going to be richer than any Beatle - and not just in the sense of money, by the way. The Beatles are untouchable. That's just a joke.

There's no amount of money that makes you feel better when people think of you as a joke or a hack or a failure or ugly or stupid or morally empty.

My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well. I was amazed; I never knew they worked.

Heard about the young deaf boy who used sign language-One day he told his mother a dirty joke and she washed his hands out with soap

My mother-in-law's so fat that when she passes her handbag from hand to hand she throws it.

I bought an ideal gift for my mother-in-law - a battery-operated mouth.

I joke around a lot about the manic times because they're funny. We manics do outrageous things and it is part of our colorful nature.

Nature has a pretty sick sense of humor.

A Polish man bought a zebra for a pet. What does he call the zebra? Spot!

What if life is just a cosmic joke, like spiders in your underwear.

Mmm. O positive, my favorite." "Is it? I thought it was a cabernet sauvignon." "So it is," said Adrian, straight-faced. "My mistake.

whole wide world than a Chicago dog?

Stalin goes to visit one of the collectives outside of Moscow," began Kolya in his joke-telling voice. "Wants to see how they're getting on with the latest Five-Year Plan. 'Tell me, comrade,' he asks one farmer. 'How did the potatoes do this year?' 'Very well, Comrade Stalin. If we piled them up, they would reach God.' 'But God does not exist, Comrade Farmer.' 'Nor do the potatoes, Comrade Stalin.

Snark often functions as an enforcer of mediocrity and conformity. In its cozy knowingness, snark flatters you by assuming that you get the contemptuous joke. You've been admitted, or readmitted, to a club, though it may be the club of the second-rate.

Kirk: How close will we come to the nearest Klingon outpost if we continue on our present course? Chekov: Vun parsec, sir. Close enough to smell them. Spock: That is illogical, ensign. Odors cannot travel through the vacuum of space. Chekov: I vas making a little joke, sir. Spock: Extremely little, ensign.

Going back to my Yale days when I was a lowly fellow inside of a molecular biology lab, I had to work with RNA myself, he tells NPR. And RNA is something which is very, very delicate and it can be inactivated, just like — we used to joke — just by looking at it the wrong way.

never's the word God listens for when he needs a laugh.

If I should ever die, God forbid, I hope you will say, 'Kurt is up in heaven now.' That's my favorite joke.